Our Love Is Paperweight
by ManhattanSky
Summary: Beca wasn't ready to accept it. She wasn't prepared to admit it to the person she loved the most. So she thought pushing them away was the answer. As her health spirals, Beca will stop at nothing to prevent Chloe from knowing the truth. But how far can Chloe's patience be tested before it snaps? this is a cancer story - a sensitive subject to some. read at your own discretion.
1. Chapter 1

_**What's up lovely people? Thank you for clicking/tapping on this story! It's a slow burn Bechloe, lots of angst, maybe some tears. The next chapter release is dependant on the outcome of this first chapter. Pointers or suggestions would be awesome; I'm totally open to any and all criticism!**_

 _ **The story is set around PP1, and will follow some of the plot. So without further ado!**_

"Okay ladies, that's it for today." Aubrey announced.

There was a collective sigh from all of the Bella's. They had already done 2 hours of rehearsing, much to Beca's dismay. All she wanted to do was curl up in a ball and sleep. Or mix. Whichever came first. It had already been a few weeks since a _certain_ bubbly redhead had burst into her shower, singing her self-proclaimed lady jam with her. Besides being awkward at first, she had come to like the girl.

As Beca was grabbing her bag, an excited shout resonated through the gym.

"Wait up missy!" Chloe bounded over to her, red hair framing her megawatt smile. Beca couldn't help but smirk.

"So couldn't help but notice that we both don't have classes for at least another 3 hours, and time is precious. Do you wanna grab lunch?" the redhead asked as she looped her arm through the brunette's, a glint in her eye. At first Beca bristled at the contact, but there was something comforting about Chloe that simply couldn't be explained. But she wasn't about to tell her that.

"Are you stalking me Beale? You seem to know my schedule better than Me." she replied sarcastically. It didn't faze Chloe though.

"I make a habit of knowing the ins and outs of," she leaned in close, hot breath ghosting Beca's ear, "beautiful women."

The small girl jumped back as if she had been scalded, blushing furiously. Her mind was spinning, trying to think of a good comeback when Chloe just laughed and grabbed her again.

"Relax Becs. I don't know everything about you yet." Chloe winked and just tugged the tiny DJ along. Little did she know that Beca's brain was trying to come up with any plausible reason why she was reacting the way she was. Her normal calm collectiveness, coupled with her badass persona flew out the window whenever she was with Chloe. Maybe it was the fact that nobody the brunette had ever known wanted to be within a 10 feet vicinity of her, let alone cuddle her and hold her hand at every given opportunity. It was all very new, but maybe she minded less than she was letting on.

There was a light skip to her step as they made their way over the quad.

Everything seemed lighter. The sun was shining as the two girls walked out of the diner, full to the brim on cheap, greasy food. There was a light breeze as fall was descending on Barden University, but it went unnoticed. It almost seemed like a perfect day, as Beca unlocked her dorm and entered, followed closely behind by the embodiment of sunshine herself. As usual, Kimmy Jin was nowhere to be found, which was always a relief. Beca found herself with Chloe in her dorm more often than not these days. She always whined when Chloe demanded a movie night, but secretly she enjoyed the redhead's movie nights. They were always fun and calm in equal measures.

Chloe was talking animatedly about how Lily reminded her of a spider you go to catch but as soon as your back is turned it disappears, when she notices Beca wince and double over slightly in pain. It was not news to the senior that Beca kept her emotions under wraps, so this was surprising.

"Becs? You okay?" the redhead stepped forward, eyeing the younger girls face. It was contorted in a slight grimace, and Chloe could tell she was trying to hide it. Her small hand was gripping her right hip, trying to act nonchalant in the gesture.

"Yeah no I'm fine. I think I just overdid it in rehearsals." Her trademark smirk appeared on the small girls' face, making Chloe internally swoon. "I think blondezilla has a personal vendetta against me."

"Hey! I know she's very 'this must be perfect', but that's my best friend you're talking about!" Chloe pouted, making sure Beca knew she was joking. The brunette just rolled her eyes and walked over to the bed. Well, more like hobbled. Chloe could see she was in pain, which bothered her.

"For serious though, are you sure you're okay? It's no good doing all this exercise and choreography if you've injured yourself. It'll just make it worse." Chloe looked into the DJ's eyes, hoping to see even the smallest giveaway that what she was feeling was bothering her too. Instead, her dark blue pools showed her normal guarded expression. The colour was so unique. On first glance anyone would have thought that Beca's eyes were black, but if you looked for long enough, you would see that they were a deep blue, like the ocean at dusk. They were entrancing and beautiful and-

"Chlo?" Beca had an expectant expression on her face, bordering on amused. The redhead realised she had been staring. She shook her head slightly and smiled. Beca chuckled lightly.

"Did you hear what I said?" Chloe shook her head.

"I said I have an achy hip, but nothing a bit of sleep won't solve."

"well I demand a movie-cuddleathon before that Mitchell!" before Beca could protest, the redhead was already making herself comfortable on the bed, pulling Beca's laptop up to rest on her thighs. She was already logged in on Netflix, having made Beca download the app for this reason alone. Seeing that the brunette was still awkwardly perched on the end of the bed, Chloe patted the space next to her. After a second's hesitation, Beca obliged. Once she had manoeuvred herself to sit next to Chloe, Beca knew what was coming next. It was almost scripted; the movements and the noises of relaxation the same every time. Chloe's arm snaked across the freshman's shoulders, while Beca placed her hand over the redhead's waist. Even down to the way Beca's head fit under Chloe's chin – nuzzled into her shoulder – seemed perfect. And Beca knew that this was out of character for her. Hell, if the rest of the Bella's found out she could kiss her reputation goodbye. But it was just them, and she knew that moments like this were only for them. Which is why she felt safe enough to talk to Chloe.

"I can hear your brain working Mitchell. What's going on in that pretty little head of yours?" the brunette felt a soft nudge to her arm. At first Chloe didn't think she was going to reply, but then a soft voice mumbled, "This isn't the first time."

Confused by this, the redhead just hummed, urging her to continue.

"I mean that this isn't the first time my hip has been bothering me. It's actually been a couple of months now." Chloe was thinking this over when something dawned on her.

"Beca, you've only been a part of the Bella's for a few weeks."

"I know." The quiet voice responded. The older girl could feel her tensing up in her arms, and she knew that this was something she'd not wanted to admit.

"Have you gone to the doctors about it?"

"I was going to go tomorrow. I just for peace of mind I guess. I'm sure it's nothing." Beca reassured her. When Chloe didn't respond, Beca started to get nervous. She looked up to see Chloe lost in thought. Beca prodded her side lightly, trying to get her attention. Chloe shook her head and smiled.

"Yeah totes!" she replied, maybe a little too enthusiastically.

They continued to watch the all-but-forgotten movie, minds elsewhere. Chloe could feel the brunette sinking into her arms. Knowing she was falling asleep, she pulled her in tighter.

"Chlo?" the DJ asked, voice laced with sleep.

"Yeah?"

"Will you come with me? Tomorrow I mean. You know uhh... for company and stuff. It's totally okay if you don't want to, I just thought-" Chloe cut her off with a kiss to her forehead. She could feel Beca physically melt into her.

"of course I will. Anything for you."

Sleep overtook them both soon after. The little bubble in which they had created forming a safety barrier from the worries of what tomorrow would bring.

 _ **A/N – Please review? It would mean a lot to me**_ __ _ **thank you for reading awesome nerds!**_


	2. Chapter 2

**Hey lovely people. So I seen that a couple of people favorited/followed this story already and that honestly makes me so happy! And thank you to Lizett (guest), and** **RJRMovieFan for leaving kind reviews, it really made my day! I initially wanted to wait a little bit to drop this new chapter, as its very angsty and forms the main body of the plot. But I was too excited! Also, I'm thinking of adding a song or two to the A/N's, that I listen to when I'm writing, so you guys can get a feel for the emotion I'm trying to convey, so for this chapter I'm thinking;**

 **Twenty One Pilots – Cancer**

 **So without further ado…**

 **(warning – this chapter contains mentions of illness and other sensitive subjects. Viewers discretion is advised)**

Beca was nervous. There was no two ways about it. The pain and her hip and leg had woken her in the night, and it had only settled about 2 hours ago. The lack of sleep combined with the nerves had left her jittery, unable to sit still.

She was sat on her bed, glancing anxiously at the clock. 8:57am. Chloe should have been there 10 minutes ago. Beca had texted her several times, but no response came. Sighing, the small brunette decided that this was obviously something she had to do with or without Chloe. It hurt that the redhead was all but ignoring her, knowing that Beca was more anxious than she was letting on.

Pulling her boots and headphones, the small DJ made her way out of her dorm. There were a couple of other students milling around outside the Baker Hall entrance, but the overcast weather had scared away the masses. She made her way to the campus entrance, ready to hail a cab when a text notification pinged on her phone. Beca ignored it while trying to find a ride, reminding herself to look at it when she was settled in the cab.

The doctors waiting area was… sterile to say the least. It was completely devoid of any colour or character, save for the occasional poster about recognizing the signs of flu. The receptionist was no better. She sounded like she was reciting from a script – the Shakespeare kind that puts you to sleep instantly. Beca couldn't help the roll her eyes preformed.

Her leg was bouncing in place, the hands resting on them moving just as vigorously. There was no reason for her to be this nervous. _Get it together Mitchell._ Raking her hands through her hair, the brunette sat back, pulling her headphones out of her bag, already knowing which songs she wanted to mix. She could feel the calm expanding in her chest as she booted up her laptop, knowing she was getting herself worked up for nothing-

"Rebeca Mitchell, room 2." A voice announced over the speaker. Her anxiety instantly shot back up, forming a lump in her throat. With shaking hands, she packed her laptop and headphones back into her bag, trying to delay the inevitable walk to the office.

Ever since her mother died she had hated the doctors. The sterility of the rooms, the lingering smell of antiseptic covering the odor of infection and illness. The almost indisputable air of finality after a bad diagnosis. Beca knew it was stupid, but there was just an inevitability that she couldn't shake.

Pushing open the door, Beca was met with a kind, almost angelic face. Brown hair framed a pale, angular face. Her hazel eyes were soft and full of compassion – the edges creased as a beaming smile pulled her plump red lips taut over straight, white teeth. The smaller brunette was staring, and she knew it. But she couldn't move – couldn't tear her eyes away from the woman that was staring back at her.

"Hi! You must be Rebeca. I'm Dr. Carson. Its lovely to meet you." The doctor extended her hand. Beca shook her head, ridding her face of the star struck expression, reverting back to her resting bitch face.

"Uhh… Beca is fine. Nice to meet you too." She muttered, shaking the outstretched hand. The smile never wavered.

"Okay Beca. What can I do for you today?" Dr. Carson sat back in her chair, which cued Beca to sit in the one opposite. This was it.

"Okay umm… for a couple of months now I've had an ache – well more like a uhh pain in my knee and hip. More in my knee. It's been waking me up at night, and frankly its pissing me off." The younger girls' eyes widened. "I mean its umm… it's been annoying me and- "

"Beca relax. You don't have to filter your thoughts with me," the doctor smiled warmly. "Just tell me how it is. This is a safe space and I want to help."

The younger brunette visibly relaxed, feeling a sense of ease with this woman. "Okay."

Dr. Carson chuckled slightly, proceeding to pull on some latex gloves. "Okay, so what I'm going to do is ask you to sit yourself up on the bed and pull your pants leg up over your knee so I can take a look, okay?"

"Okay." Beca did as she was told pulling her sweatpants leg up over her knee. She knew something like this would happen, so she dressed appropriately.

Once she was settled, the young doctor approached and attentively pushed the material higher so she could access the area around the knee too. "Can you tell me where about it hurts? I don't want to hurt you too much by pressing on areas that are overly tender."

Beca was blushing furiously. "It just everywhere around the knee. I can't really uhh… pinpoint an exact spot."

"Okay that's fine. Just tell me if it becomes too much okay?" Beca nodded.

Dr. Carson proceeded to press down on different places on her knee. Some hurt more than others, but Beca gritted her teeth, not willing to show she was hurting. It all seemed too easy – perhaps a pulled muscle that was aggravated by Bella's practice, or just week muscle made apparent by the cardio she was enduring. Until one part of her knee seemed to catch the doctors' attention. Her brows furrowed as she pressed down a little harder, pulling an involuntary hiss from Beca. Hazel eyes met dark blue ones, and there was something there that put Beca on edge. Dr. Carson stepped back and grabbed a tool Beca recognized as a reflex hammer. The tall brunette proceeded to hit a spot on the smaller girls' knee, only getting a small reaction.

"Okay you can roll your pants leg down now. When you're ready just sit back in the chair." The doctor went over to the trash, pulling her gloves off and washing her hands. When she turned back around Beca was already perched on the chair, looking more anxious than when she arrived. Dr. Carson tried to plaster a smile on her face, but anyone could see it was forced.

"I've got a couple of questions, and it's important that they are answered as thoroughly as possible."

"Umm… okay."

"First question then," she smiled reassuringly. "Have you noticed any swelling or tenderness around the knee joint? More specifically around the bottom right of your knee?"

Beca thought back to the countless nights she had woken up, writhing in pain as her knee throbbed.

"Yeah I guess. It was always worse after practicing choreography with my acapella team." She blushed slightly at the admittance.

Dr. Carson jotted some notes down, eyebrows furrowing again. She looked back up and made eye contact with the younger girl.

"Do you have any family history of illness? Anything that you know of." This question threw Beca off, not willing to share the ordeal with anyone. But she knew it was important.

"Umm... yeah. My mom had Adenocarcinoma. She didn't make it." She added softly at the end. A look of pity flickered through the doctors' eyes, but it was quickly replaced by the warmth she had come to recognise.

"Okay that's all the questions I have. Thank you for answering honestly." She lowered her voice. "I know it's not easy for you." Beca just nodded.

"Okay Miss Mitchell, it seems that you have a lump on your knee, more specifically on your tibia." The doctor pointed at the area she had been focused on earlier. "I'm hoping it's just a lipoma – a small build-up of cells and fat so to speak. But I want to send you for some tests just to rule out anything more malicious. Does this sound okay to you?"

Beca was shocked by this revelation. All she could do was nod, unable to process the information being thrown at her.

"We can book you in for an MRI today, but a biopsy and PET scan can be booked for tomorrow?"

Again Beca just nodded. It seemed that it was all she was able to do.

It had been 4 hours since they had finished the scan. 4 hours since Dr. Carson had said they'd be back in 3 hours. to confirm their suspicions that it was just a lipoma. But it had been 4 hours of agonizing waiting. 4 hours of just staring at the waiting room wall, willing the time to go faster. She had been here since 9:30am, and the clock now read 3:30pm. People would start to get suspicious if anyone cared. She was lucky in that sense.

"Beca Mitchell?" Dr. Carson called, eyeing the people in the room before her eyes landed on the tiny brunette, sat huddled in the corner. She stood up and followed the doctor back into the room.

"Hi again. Please take a seat." She watched the girl sit down cautiously.

"Hi" she replied quietly.

"Okay so I'm going to tell you straight. I have read the report the radiologist has given to me. Unfortunately, it seems that this growth is not a lipoma, but may in fact be a sarcoma. We will have to run some more tests – a biopsy being paramount in confirming what we suspect, but we are almost certain that you have Osteosarcoma on your tibia. Now we need to do a PET scan to make sure that it hasn't spread- "

"Whoa wait. What are you evening saying right now?" Beca said, voice wavering with emotion.

"I'm saying you may have a common type of bone cancer called Osteosarcoma. It's very treatable and- "

"And this is the part where you tell me you're fucking joking right?!" Beca screamed, overcome with emotions from the long waits and the news that was now tearing a hole through her chest.

"Beca I know it's a lot to take in, bit with the right support and treatment- "Dr. Carson tried to calm the younger brunette, who had visibly paled – her dark blue eyes swimming in unshed tears.

"THIS IS BULLSHIT! This isn't true! This isn't…" she trailed off. Of course it was true. The truth was written all over the doctors face.

"Beca I want to support you through this, but for now can we discuss this calmly?" the doctor tried to place a reassuring hand on the smaller girl's shoulders, but she jolted back as if she had been burned.

"Don't fucking touch me!" she screamed before bolting out of the room. She could hear Dr. Carlson calling her name, but she wasn't about to stop. She was running through the halls, desperate for air. She wasn't about to be trapped in this place – not letting the ghosts of her mother or the previous conversation catch her.

She didn't know when she made it to the entrance. Her lungs were burning, her leg throbbing in pain. The knowledge of what may or may not be going on in her body was too much for her.

Before she could stop it, the bile in her throat decided to make itself known. She hunched over in the nearest bush before emptying her already vacant stomach. All that came out was hot bile, burning her throat but unable to stop. When she could finally catch her breath, she slumped over onto the side of the wall that surrounded the hospital. She had no idea how long she sat there, staring at nothing until her phone pinging pulled her out of her withdrawn state. She glanced at the screen, seeing that the text from earlier, the one when she was hailing a cab, was from Chloe, as was the most recent one. Rubbing her eyes, the brunette swiped the screen and read the messages.

 **[08:59] Chloe – Hey Becs! I'm really sorry but my class is going to run over and I don't think I'll be able to make the doctors with you. I wanted to call you but my professor is doing some intense study session and there is a strict 'no phones' policy. Totes a buzzkill! I know it's not an excuse, and I will make it up to you! You'll be fine today, just let me know when you're out! Love you loads :) xox**

 **[18:47] Chloe – hey! Me again. So I don't know whether to be worried or not. Its either you hate me so you're ignoring me, or you're not done and something big is happening. Both options are equally worrying, so just call me okay? I wanna be there for you regardless of what's going on. All the girls were asking about you. Oh yeah! You totes missed pizza night! Anyway, just call me when you get the time. Or I'll see you at rehearsals tomorrow. I love you… xoxo**

Beca had to do a double take at the time of the second text. Had she really been sat against the wall for this long? It didn't matter. Nothing matters. Chloe left her for a class. Everyone leaves; Beca is used to this. But Chloe? She never thought Chloe would leave her.

She couldn't stop the onslaughter of sobs that racked her body. She was alone. She was cold and tired and ready to curl up in a ball and sleep for the rest of her life. Nothing could change this. _I have cancer_ she thought, making her sob harder.

She had fucking cancer and she was alone.

 **A/N – please review! Your opinions/suggestions will help me improve and will spur on the updates! Love you awesome nerds :)**


	3. Chapter 3

_**So first up, thank you for the awesome feedback I got on the last chapter! Every little helps, and it honestly spurred me on. This is a bit of a filler chapter, but we are getting to the more in depth stuff soon enough. As Cesare Pavese once said,**_

" _ **The Cadence of Suffering has begun."**_

 _ **Also some BeChloe fluff coming up in the next couple of chapters… but more about that later ;)**_

 _ **If in any way any of my readers feel I'm being insensitive with my depiction of Beca's condition, please feel free to message me. I'm trying to make it as light as possible without offending anyone. I have had somewhat personal encounters with this form of cancer, and if anyone needs any support, please do not hesitate to message.**_

 _ **But enough babble!**_

Beca didn't know how long it had been since she left her dorm room. Night and day seemed to blur together in the hazy trance she had been left in. she hadn't slept. She hadn't eaten. But she didn't care.

Kimmy Jin, despite her overall hostile attitude towards the brunette, had been leaving water by her bed before heading out for a class. Beca sometimes found an energy bar next to it. It touched her that even behind the glares, the ignorance and hatred for the young DJ, Kimmy Jin found it in herself to care for someone who was clearly hurting.

It just hurt more that Beca couldn't seem to stomach it.

Next to her bed, her phone started ringing. Groaning, the brunette rolled out from under the blankets she had buried herself in to turn it off, not looking nor caring who it was. It had been like this for the entirety of her time since getting back from the hospital. When she had finally got back to her dorm, she had thrown herself under her blankets and cried until it seemed there was no more tears left in her system. The only time she left her bed after that was to change her clothes or relieve herself. She was pretty sure she stunk, given that the last time she saw a shower was the morning of the hospital visit, but she didn't care. Why should she?

Beside her, Beca's phone pinged alerting her to a new voicemail. Again, this wasn't new. But she couldn't find it in herself to talk to anyone. She had made a silent promise to herself that no one was to find out. If this was the way her life was going to go… if this was the end to her story, then she should at least make it as lightweight as possible for everyone else.

Chloe Beale had always been a worrier. Whether it be about something as trivial as the weather to something with exponential importance like passing her exams and progressing in life, she would worry until the problem was solved. Until she knew there was nothing else she could possibly do to rectify the situation, where she was able.

But this was different.

No one had heard from Beca for 5 days. She had missed rehearsals twice, and there was only so much reassurance that "something must have come up", or "I'm sure she has a perfectly good reason" can do. Especially for someone like Aubrey Posen.

"I will not tolerate tardiness Chloe!" she practically screamed, on the third rehearsal that Beca had missed. The redhead rubbed her temples, feeling the lack of sleep and Aubrey's piercing voice drum against her brain.

"I'm sure there's a perfectly good reason Bree, don't forget _no one_ else has seen or heard from her." Chloe gave a pointed look to Fat Amy, who was sat in the corner of the room demonstrating mermaid dancing for Stacie. Both captains knew Beca and Amy's… relationship was the closest they had seem the brunette to actual friends, save for Chloe. But the Australian had heard nothing either.

Aubrey just huffed, knowing she would not get through to the redhead. Chloe knew that it wouldn't take much more for Aubrey to just kick Beca out of the Bella's for good, so she decided to take action.

"I'm going to go to Beca's dorm room. This has gone on long enough." Before she had chance to hear what the uptight blonde had to say, Chloe bolted out the room and over the quad towards Baker Hall. She didn't slow her pace until she was walking down the corridor, eyeing the numbers until she was stood outside Beca's door. It wasn't until then did she realise what she was doing.

Chloe had texted the younger girl countless times, questioning her silence and practically begging her to forgive her for not going to the hospital with her. The calls the redhead had made, had gone unanswered, leaving Chloe with a sinking feeling in her stomach.

 _No,_ she thought, _I'm not leaving her again. Not this time._

Chloe tapped lightly on the door, almost whispering "Beca?" When no reply came, she knocked again, louder this time. After about two minutes, Chloe was about to give up and come back later, when she heard something shatter, followed by "Oh, fuck!" This was enough to propel her forward, knocking louder.

"Beca I know you're in there. Please open the door." She was met with more silence. There was no other option.

"If you won't talk to me, I'll go get Aubrey." The redhead held her breath as a soft sigh was heard from within. Chloe couldn't help but smile as the deadbolt on the door slipped open with an audible click, however the door did not open. She took this as her cue. She grabbed the knob and turned it, pushing into the darkness of the room.

It took a second for her eyes to adjust. The curtains were tightly drawn, bathing the room in an almost eerie light. The redheads cerulean blue eyes roamed the room, searching for the deep ocean blue ones of her friend. For a second Chloe had to wonder if Beca had fled the room without her knowledge, but then she caught something shifting in the corner of the bed that the Brunette was inhabiting. She could just make out the tiny figure, wrapped in blankets with a hood pulled over her head, hiding her face.

Chloe moved to open the blinds when a soft voice stopped her mid-stride.

"Please… don't." the vulnerability in the voice made the redhead freeze in her tracks. She glanced over, her eyes now well-adjusted to the dark, to see Beca staring at her.

"Okay I won't. Can I at least turn the sidelight on?" she took a couple of tentative steps towards the bed, feeling like any sudden movements would startle her back further into the corner. Chloe could see the hesitation in the brunette's posture, before she sighed again and nodded. Chloe reached for the switch, flicking it on. A small yelp came from the corner as Beca buried her face into the blankets. Her eyes were sensitive from the lack of light; even the dim sidelight set fires behind her eyelids.

"Beca?"

The small DJ lifted her head, and in the new light, Chloe gasped.

Her usually pale skin had, if possible, turned even paler, save for the black circles around her eyes. Her cheeks were sunken, lips chapped, and a dazed but guarded look had graced her bloodshot eyes. Chloe's heart broke at the sight. The brunette was looking anywhere but the redhead, eyes darting all around the room, knowing she looked an absolute mess but she didn't care.

 _She didn't care. She didn't care. She didn't care. She didn't ca-_

"Beca will you please look at me?" Chloe's voice tore through the mantra, and Beca's eyes finally landed on the blue orbs of her best friend.

"Please talk to me… what's going on? I tried calling and texting and we've – I've been so worried." Beca just stared back, almost in a trance. Chloe had no idea if Beca had heard her.

"Becs please. Please say something. I'm sorry that I couldn't come with you. I really tried to-"

"It's fine." Beca spoke so softly, it was almost as if she hadn't spoke at all.

"What happened at the hospital? Please don't shut me out. Whatever it is we can work through it together, okay? Whatever you need-"again Beca cut her off, taking her hands in the process. They were ice cold and trembling slightly. Never had Chloe seen something other than the calm, solid badass Beca Mitchell. But now, seeing the same girl transform into someone who was falling apart at the seams… it was unnerving to say the least. Where once was a spark in her eyes, was replaced by a dull vacant expression

"Don't think like that. I was being paranoid. It was nothing. I just need you to promise me you won't think too hard about this okay? I just need time… I'll be okay." Beca squeezed the redhead's hands, hoping that she would understand. She could see the conflicted emotions swimming in her bright blue eyes, before they settled on something like acceptance.

"Okay Becs… I trust you." She squeezed back.

They sat in silence for a while, just taking each other in, before an idea came into Beca's head. Chloe could see the familiar glint in the brunette's eyes for a split second, before turning back to that dull hue that had taken over. Chloe was about to question it when a small smile adorned Beca's face.

"Do you want to go for a drive?"

 _ **A/N – please R &R, it would mean the world to me to get your thoughts! As always, I love you awesome nerds**_


	4. Chapter 4

_**I was too excited to not update. The song used in this chapter is Circle Backwards – Mark Provart. I wish I owned this song but sadly I do not, so NO COPYRIGHT INFRIGMENT WAS INTENDED**_

 _ **Moving swiftly on. All about the Angst roller coaster!**_

Beca Mitchell was never a nervous person. Socially awkward, yes. But never nervous. She had come to accept who she was; the quiet, "couldn't-give-a-shit" alt-girl who nobody really cared to interact with. But those who really knew her – people like Chloe – could see that she wore the badass attitude as a mask. The Beca that Chloe had come to love was kind and considerate. Her passion for music dominated her entire being. Chloe had picked up on her every little quirk. The way she taps an unknown beat on her thighs while studying, the way that, when she's nervous, she plays with her earrings or rubs her fingers over her headphones tattoo, as if she could feel the music radiating from the ink. It was the small things that wove an intricate pattern that was the tiny DJ, so tightly strung that it took someone with patience and willpower to unravel who she really was. Chloe just hoped that she was that person.

As the two girls made their way over campus, Chloe couldn't help but notice the slight limp that Beca had in her right leg. It was subtle, but Chloe could definitely see that walking was uncomfortable for the younger girl. She was about to say so when Beca spoke up.

"My car is parked at my dad's house. Technically it's not even my car, but I have a key and he doesn't care when I take it. Whatever, it may as well be my car-"Chloe cut off her rambling by linking their hands together lightly. The redhead could feel the tension in her fingers.

"Relax. It's just me." the redhead, drawing small circles on the back of Beca's hand with her thumb.

 _God,_ Beca thought, _if she only knew what she was doing to me._

It took 15 minutes, but they were finally on the road. Chloe couldn't keep the amused smile off of her face as she took in the sight of Beca driving. If there was any doubt that Beca was small, it was completely washed away now. The brunette's dad owned a four-by-four monster of a truck. It was spacious inside - absolutely dwarfing the DJ - and had a lingering "new car" smell. The centre console was decked out with expensive looking in-car entertainment, and there were strip lights along the doors and curves all around the interior, transitioning from blue to purple to green and so on. The soft lighting was doing amazing things to Beca's features, Chloe realised. The deep blue that was no surrounding the car was making the brunettes cheekbones stand out and her jawline sharp. It accentuated the deep blue of her eyes. A burning had begun deep in Chloe's chest, igniting the butterflies that resided in her stomach. To distract herself, the redhead started connecting her phone to the car and choosing a song. Once she found the one, she settled back in the seat. From the corner of her eye, she could see Beca smirking as the opening melody of "Titanium" resonated around the car.

"Is this a good idea Beale? I know how much this song means to you." Beca quipped. Chloe just pushed her shoulder playfully, both girls fully aware that the song was Chloe's _guilty pleasure_.

"Get your head out of the gutter Mitchell, and focus on…" Chloe glanced around, only now realising that they were surrounded by trees. Despite it being early evening and the sun setting over the horizon when they had left, no light could penetrate the dense foliage that surrounded them. An uneasy feeling started to creep up Chloe's spine until she felt a warm hand on her knee. She glanced over to Beca, who was half smiling at her.

"I'll wake you up when we get there. Go to sleep." The brunette turned back to the road. Chloe agreed on the premise that Beca woke her as soon as they had arrived. As the redheads eyes started to droop, she could faintly hear Beca singing along to titanium, harmonizing perfectly, lulling her to sleep.

The sound of paper being torn woke Chloe from her slumber. She sighed and stretched, feeling her muscles pop in a satisfyingly painful way. She turned to see Beca – her feet sticking out the open window – writing in a navy blue leather notebook.

"Whatcha got there?" Beca jumped at the redheads voice, not realising she had woken up. The brunette quickly shut the notebook and put it in her open backpack, which sat at her feet.

"Nothing. You know you snore right?" Beca smirked, seeing the shocked expression cross Chloe's face.

"I do not!"

"Dude. For serious you do. It's like you were at one with nature are you were calling to it or something." Beca ducked her head away from Chloe's hands.

"Dude okay stop I was joking. But I'm gonna need you to close your eyes now." the sudden serious tone of the DJ startled Chloe for a moment, but she obliged. She had trust in Beca, and if the look in her eyes said anything, it was that all she had was good intentions.

Chloe could hear Beca's door open and close, followed by the passenger side door. Warm, gentle hands found their way into the redheads, tugging her slightly. Once she was safely out the car, one hand was pulled out of her grip. Chloe was about to protest when the same hand made an appearance on the small of her back, guiding her to stand in a specific spot.

"Are you ready?" the brunette's voice all but whispered in her ear. All Chloe could do was nod.

"Okay, open your eyes." Chloe did, but she wasn't prepared for what she saw.

The sky was alive. Billions of stars shined brightly against the dark sky; vibrant colours from distant galaxies and unknown depths. This formed the backdrop of the picturesque sight that they were standing on. A clear river reflected the skies above, twisting and turning through dense clusters of trees. Chloe was speechless, transfixed on the scene before her. She hadn't realised she was crying until she felt Beca's thumbs brush under her eyes.

"Chloe, are you okay?" there was a deep concern in the freshman's eyes that Chloe couldn't help but chuckle at.

"I'm fine. I'm just… Jesus Becs, how did you find this place?"

Beca sighed, running her hands through her hair. Before Chloe could say anything more, the brunette was going back to the car, taking control of the music. She then led Chloe to sit in the bed of the truck, pulling down the tailgate and offering her hand to the ginger. Once they were settled opposite each other, Beca spoke up.

"This is the Chattahoochee River. My parents used to bring me here all the time when I was young. We used to come to this exact spot and go swimming in the river, camp, have picnics. It was perfect." Chloe watched Beca smile fondly out to the river, memories dancing in her eyes. But then her smile faltered, and a look that Chloe could described as utter heartbreak pulled her mouth into a deep frown, her eyebrows furrowed. When Beca turned her eyes to Chloe once more, there was something new. Neither girl knew what it was. Before they could question it, a sob escaped the brunette's lips. It shocked them both, but Chloe was quick to react.

Pulling the smaller girl into her chest, she whispered sweet nothings into her ear. Chloe knew this wasn't the time to question it, opting instead to just hold Beca, being her mask for a while.

Chloe didn't know how long they sat there, but eventually Beca lifted her head up, sniffling slightly.

"Chlo… I" her words were cut off by a new song floating through the air. Beca's eyes widened, knowing that this was somewhat accurate. As the guitar intro finished, Beca harmonised with the voice softly but perfectly;

 _On the outside, looking in,_

 _On where I used to belong,_

 _Find the shelter to begin,_

 _Begin again…_

Chloe's eyes widened at the emotion that was pouring from the younger girl as the song progressed, and she couldn't help feel like Beca was trying to tell her something.

 _Another storyline at the end,_

 _Or maybe another song,_

 _On the outside, looking in._

 _And I'm…_

 _Free, to be lonely,_

 _It's not so bad my friends,_

 _Free, to be lonely._

The song continued, but the two girls were staring at each other, the stars reflected in both of their eyes. It was as if the gravity of the moon and the unspoken truth were bringing them closer, leaning in. a soft hand was caressing Chloe's face, and their eyes were closing and _holy shit what was happening she's about to kiss Beca Mitchell!_ They were mere inches apart when Beca half gasped, half screamed, falling away from Chloe.

 _A/N – R &R? pretty please? _


	5. Chapter 5

_**Good evening lovely people. So I feel as if I need to explain this real quick. If there is a lack of emotion being portrayed, than all shall be revealed in a later chapter. Everything that I'm writing is to serve the purpose of the main plotline.**_

 _ **On a lighter note, your reviews and kind words really do mean the world to me. Also the people who follow/favourite, I thank you too. I love to write - it's a way of conveying myself when I can't articulate with speech. And to see people actually liking and wanting to read more is truly incredible. Thank you!**_

"Beca don't freak, I'm sorry-"Chloe started, panic laced in her voice. She couldn't believe what she was about to do. The redhead knew what she had with Beca was special, but she never thought they would go beyond platonic. And even if those feelings extended to anything more, it would be unlikely that Beca would reciprocate them.

Before Chloe could say anything more, Beca burst out laughing. The kind of laugh that leaves you with tears in your eyes and a warm feeling in your stomach. Chloe watched the brunette curiously, feeling the corners of her mouth turn up at her antics. It was unlike Beca to laugh so openly and whole-heartedly about something. It took a minute to compose herself, wiping the tears from her cheeks.

"God I haven't laughed like that for a long time." Beca whispered to herself. She glanced up to see staring at her curiously.

"What's so funny?" Chloe asked tentatively. She watched a smirk pull Beca's lips up as she shuffled closer. Chloe's breath hitched as the Brunette leaned close to whisper in her ear.

"Nothing… it's just something caught my attention…" Chloe shivered as Beca's breath ghosted over the shell of her ear. _Get it together Beale._

"You've totally got a spider in your hair." It took a minute for the words to compute in Chloe's brain, but when it did her eyes widened. Squealing, she brought her hands to her hair, ruffling the ginger curls aimlessly. She had no idea whether it was gone, but it couldn't hurt to be thorough. After her little 'fiasco', Chloe turned to see Beca staring at her. The brunette had an odd expression that, for once, Chloe couldn't work out. It was a mixture of sadness – her eyebrows furrowed together – with something like… longing? The corner of the brunettes lips were tugged up, but the rest of her face radiated a something more sombre, as if she was trying to commit this scene to memory.

Chloe wasn't completely oblivious to Beca's behaviour. She knew something was wrong, but opening up for the freshman was hard. And pushing just ended up with her escaping behind her walls, so Chloe knew not to push. It was only a matter of time before the truth came to light, and Chloe knew that she would be there every step of the way.

"Come on," Beca spoke up, snapping Chloe out of her thoughts. "Let's go home."

It had been 8 days since the night with Chloe. Within that time, Beca had decided to return the missed calls from Dr. Carson. The doctor had confirmed it over the phone. Beca had Osteosarcoma in her right tibia. Stage 2, which meant that it had spread around the immediate area of her knee, hence the overall pain – the inability to pinpoint an exact location where the pain was at its worst. Dr. Carson had stated that the best course of action was to begin chemotherapy right away, to stop the progression of the tumours and decrease the possibility of surgery later on down the line.

That's why Beca found herself standing in front of the chemotherapy lounge, having already been briefed by Dr. Carson what to expect. The receptionist glanced up from her computer, seeing the nervous looking brunette staring into space.

"Can I help you miss?" the receptionist smiled lightly, already pulling up the patient list, assuming that the young girl was here to see a relative.

"Umm… yeah. I have an appointment?" she handed the paper over to the receptionist. Once her hands came back down, she started rubbing her fingers absentmindedly over the tattoo on her wrist.

The receptionist frowned slightly. The girl couldn't be older than twenty, and she was about to be pumped full of drugs that even the strongest couldn't handle. This girl was tiny.

"Is there anyone who can be with you? Family or friends?" the receptionist asked while logging her details into the system.

"no." Beca replied curtly, her voice tight. The receptionist looked up, a look of pity in her eyes. No one should have to go through this alone.

"Okay the nurse will call you through shortly. Please take a seat in the waiting area." The receptionist watched the girl limp over to the chairs. It was a heart-breaking sight, but it was none of her business to pry.

"Hi Beca, my name is Kelsey and I'll be doing the chemotherapy administrations for you today." The young nurse said as she led Beca to the chemotherapy lounge where 3 other patients were sat. Beca couldn't help but notice how sick they all looked – all gaunt faces and sallow skin. They all seemed a lot older than her too, and surrounded by family and friends of all ages. The brunette took a seat in one of the empty chairs, feeling more alone than ever before. She was glad she'd remembered her headphones and notebook.

"This will take up to 2 hours to fully go through," Kelsey gestured to the IV line that was being inserted into Beca's hand. "But once it does, you will be feeling the side effects. Nausea, headaches and weakness are very common. It is advised that after this you go straight home and rest. Will anybody be taking you home today Beca?" the nurse looked at her expectantly.

"No, I'll probably get a taxi." Beca lied. She had every intent on going to the radio station after this. Nobody could know, and she figured the best way to pretend you didn't have a _life threatening illness_ was to go about life as usual. Beca smirked inwardly at the irony.

Kelsey looked at her sceptically before nodding slowly.

"Okay this is going to pinch a little." She said, before inserting the needle into Beca's arm. The brunette didn't even feel it go in. it was as if she was in a trance.

"I'll be back to check on you in about 15 minutes. Are you okay?" Beca just nodded and watched the nurse do her rounds. The only thing she could do now was wait. Sighing, she pulled out her headphones, put her phone on shuffle and proceeded to write in her notebook.

The room was spinning. There was no other way to describe it. The radio station's CD room where Beca was now working was tilting and spinning before her very eyes. She felt drunk as she pushed CD after CD onto their respective shelves, hands shaking as she went. A deep ache had formed in her knee and hip, and it was becoming increasingly difficult to ignore it. She didn't even acknowledge Luke, the station manager, behind her.

"Becky, are you okay? You look a bit… peaky." His soft English accent carried over to Beca, but she couldn't open her mouth.

Luke could definitely see she was not okay. Her face was ghostly pale, and she was limping and hissing in pain with every step she took.

Beca was just about to reply when a wave of nausea hit her like a ton of bricks. She slapped a hand over her mouth and ran as fast as she could to the nearest trashcan, which was located under the "No-sex" desk. The brunette collapsed to her knees – despite the pain radiating from her knee on impact – and threw up the hospital food that she had had earlier. It wasn't much, but it burned as she heaved every last ounce out. She could feel her hair being pulled away from her face and neck as soft, small circles were rubbed on her back.

"Damn Becky, rough night?" Luke tried to joke, but it was all too much for Beca. When she looked back up to him, his smile dropped. An involuntary sob broke free of Beca's throat and that was all it took for Luke to wrap the tiny DJ into his arms and hold her as she cried. Her hands were clutching the back of his shirt as he ran a hand through her hair.

"Becky talk to me… what's going on?" Luke pulled back slightly to look at the younger girls face. The look of sincerity in his eyes made Beca lose it again. He heard her say something unintelligible into his shoulder.

"I can't hear you… say it again." Beca sniffed before speaking again, and this time Luke heard it. His heart plummeted at the words.

"I've got cancer Luke." More sobs racked her body as the blonde boy held her impossibly tighter. "I've got fucking cancer and I'm going to die."

They sat there huddled on the floor until the brunettes breaths evened out. Luke glanced down to see that Beca had fallen asleep against him. He knew it was against protocol but this was different, and Beca was clearly in need of some sleep.

Carefully, he wrapped his arms around the younger girl, and lifted her effortlessly. Careful to avoid the doorframe, Luke brought her into the booth and laid her down on the couch in the corner. He carefully wrapped the throw blanket around her, adjusting the pillows to make sure she was comfortable. The blonde then sat in the desk chair rubbing his face lightly.

"What are we going to do with you Becky?" he questioned softly to the space around him, not expecting a reply.

"Is it true?"

 _ **A/N – who could it be?! :O I love you awesome nerds!**_


	6. Chapter 6

**I don't have much to say other than PLOT TWIST! Thank you to all who reviewed/favourited/followed! I love you all! Also, a special thanks to Kate203457, for asking questions and being an incredible reader! Also, happy birthday for Sunday! Hope you have an aca-awesome day! (I'm sorry, I had to.)**

"Luke answer me, is it true?"

All the manager could do was stare back. He knew that Beca was closed off, and very rarely allowed her true self to emerge from her shell. Would she really want him to say it, when she had only told him through a moment of weakness?

The stern glare of Aubrey Posen was drilling into his head, so he went for the safest option.

"Aubrey, what are you doing here?" Luke was surprised at how calm his voiced sounded. Aubrey just rolled her eyes, before fixing them on the small girl sleeping on the couch.

"I was going to tell Beca that if she is going to keep bunking out of practice to hang out with you, she can forget being a Bella." Luke's eyebrows shot up. He had never pegged the alt-girl as a Barden Bella.

"oh. Well I'll tell her when she wakes up. I think she had a pretty rough night- "

"Luke cut the bullshit. Even if I hadn't heard the conversation, no one goes out on a Monday." The blonde's eyes softened slightly. "is what she said true? Does she really have…" Luke met her gaze. There was something in Aubrey's eyes that he had never seen before. Was it pity? He couldn't tell. The station manager sighed, running a hand through his hair.

"I don't know. I mean she got to work and even I knew something was wrong. She was pale and sweaty, and walking around as if she was drunk. And limping," Aubrey's eyes widened slightly, remembering that Chloe had mentioned it a few weeks ago. "I don't know whether she hurt her leg or not. When I went to ask her about it, she just started throwing up." Luke's voice faltered, remembering the events. "she started crying straight after… I guess you know the rest." He said softly, gesturing to Beca who was still fast asleep. Aubrey could feel a twinge of sadness in her heart. Everyone knew her disdain for the brunette, but secretly Aubrey liked her. She liked her spirit, her passion for music. But there was something deep rooted in the blonde's heart that just could be shook away.

"I don't think she wants anyone to know." Luke was staring at her, almost pleading to keep the secret. "I don't know the full details myself, but I know she wouldn't open up like that normally. And I want to be someone she trusts to come to for this, you know? I'm sorry, I know it's a lot to- "

"Luke stop. Its fine, I understand." As much as it pained her to keep secrets, Aubrey knew this was important. Luke visibly relaxed.

"thank you so much… I'll let her know what you said when she wakes up if you want?" guilt shot through her heart. She couldn't tell Beca that she was essentially kicked out the Bella's for something she couldn't control. No, Aubrey definitely wasn't that heartless.

"no, it's okay. Maybe don't mention I was here? Keeps things a little less complicated." A small smile escaped the blonde's lips. Luke smiled back, knowing Aubrey Posen was a woman of her word.

The two seniors smiled at each other, a mutual agreements set in place. Aubrey walked over and slowly, not wanting to wake the sleeping girl, pulled the blankets up higher over her shoulders. Beca's eyebrows were furrowed, and there was a sheen of sweat on her forehead. Her face was scarily pale, accentuating the dark circles under her eyes. It took all Aubrey had to walk away, feeling the situation finally settle in her brain. A young girl has just been told she has a life threatening illness, and was clearly suffering. As she walked out of the radio station, she made a silent promise to look out for Beca, to make sure she was doing okay but keeping her distance to ensure the brunette didn't know that she knew.

No, Aubrey wasn't heartless at all.

Beca was woke by the deep throbbing in her head. Like someone was pounding on the back of her skull with a sledgehammer. She brought her shaky hands up to rub her face and eyes before opening them. She was met with the soft glow of a computer screen and rows of CD cabinets. She could feel soft leather under her, and had to blink several times before she remembered where she was. Her eyes widened. _Oh no. Luke saw me throw up. Was he there when I broke down? Oh god did I tell him-_

"hey sleepy head." Beca snapped her head to where Luke was walking into the booth. He was holding a stack of CD's and smiling lightly. His smile dropped however when he seen the look on her face. It was the embodiment of terror and the station manager instantly became concerned.

"are you okay? Are you going to throw up again?" he started to reach for the trashcan when a soft voice cut him off.

"no, I'm okay." Beca pulled herself up to a sitting position, watching the blanket fall to her lap. Hell, it was better than looking at Luke.

Luke sighed before moving to his computer. He cued up a playlist that could play in the background so that he could talk to the younger girl. He knew this would take a while.

"Beca I know you don't want to talk about it." The brunette started to cut him off but he held up his hands, silencing her. "hear me out. You told me what was going on earlier, and I don't know what you expect me to do. I'm not going to freak, or turn my back on you. I want to help." He put his hands on Beca's. she looked up slightly, tears in the corner of her eyes. She nodded slightly, and that was all Luke needed.

"okay. In order for me to help you, I need to know exactly what's going on. You can take your time, but for this to work," he gestured between them. "you have to be able to talk to me." Luke watched the girls conflicted face. It seemed to be waging war with her emotions – watching as she came out of her shell, before quickly recoiling back behind her walls. He watched as she finally settled on defeated; shoulders slumped and head hanging low.

"I have cancer." She spoke softly, Luke straining to hear. Every time Beca said it out loud, it became more real. She glanced up and made eye contact with the senior, watching him nod encouragingly.

"I have stage 2 osteosarcoma on my tibia and has spread to the surrounding area. They have started my chemo and are hoping to reduce the tumor sizes and stop the spread…" she trailed off. The DJ felt warmth on her hands, and looked to see Luke had taken her hands. He squeezed slightly, letting her know it was okay.

"there is a 70% chance that the chemo won't work. It's possible that they could spread to another part of my body. But they are trying it before they go to last resort." Beca know what was coming next. When Dr. Carson told her this information, it was if her life fell through the floor.

"what's the last resort?" Luke asked softly. Beca sighed, knowing if she didn't say it now, she would never be able to say it.

"in the worst case scenario, they said that it is possible that my leg will have to be amputated, or I could die." She finished simply, voice cracking on the last work. She internally scolded herself for letting her emotions getting the better of her. _Sack up Mitchell, you're better than this._ She looked up to find Luke's stare fixed on her. He looked a mixture of sad and determined.

" does it hurt?" Beca pondered the question, her mind automatically screaming _no it doesn't hurt I don't want your pity._ But she would be lying. It hurt all the time, more so now than ever before.

"it does. Like it doesn't hurt as much when I'm sitting down. But when I'm walking around or just standing it hurts a lot. I can bare it though." She added that last bit as an afterthought, hoping she didn't seem weak. She watched Luke's face, trying to gauge his reactions, when he finally smiled.

"thank you for telling me Beca. I know it wasn't easy. But from now on there are going to be some ground rules. First of all, when you're on shift and you start to feel pain or nausea or anything along those lines, you come into the booth and sit down immediately. I don't care what you're doing, and I don't mind for how long. Just until you're able to stand without pain. The second rule is I'll be escorting you two and from your chemo sessions." Beca started to argue, but Luke cut her short. "this is non-negotiable. I need to know that you're okay, and not collapsed in a bush somewhere okay?" Beca could see it wasn't up for debate, so she grumbled her response. "you're not going to come in with me are you?"

He looked at her, almost amused. "unless you want me there, no. I won't." The look of relief that flooded Beca's face brought out a chuckle from Luke. "you know we could try being friends. If that tiny body of yours can handle all that attitude, I'm sure I can." He added with a wink. This earned a smile, and he was more than happy when a chuckle accompanied it.

"don't get your hopes up, you'll be disappointed." She responded, but they both knew she was joking.

"hmm. We'll see about that." Luke winked again, but then quickly thought of something. "shall I get your number? Saves looking for each other whenever we need to make a dash." His English accent came thick with the words, and Beca smiled. It was refreshing, knowing that someone cared. She wasn't about to admit that out loud though. "sure, here you go." She handed the manager her phone, watching him but his number in and text himself. His phone chimed from the desk. Handing back the phone, Beca noticed the name he was saved under.

"Bossman? Really dude?" she raised an eyebrow at him. Luke know this would get a reaction, and was glad to see the old Beca surfacing.

"oh come on Becky, you love it." The brunette's eyes widened. "I knew you were just doing that to piss me off! Not cool man!" Beca's faced scrunched up and she pouted, crossing her arms over her chest. Luke laughed at her antics, comparing her to a small child. He slung his arm around her shoulders. The brunette tensed momentarily, but relaxed. It was brotherly, and she really could get used to this new friendship.

"thank you Luke."

Chloe was nervous as she made her way through the dorm halls. It had been a couple of days since the night at the river, and she was worried that minimal contact had been held between the redhead and Beca. It was as if she was escaping back behind her walls again, but this time heavily fortifying them; permanently blocking out the world. But Chloe would not let that happen.

She made it to the room Beca and her god awful roommate shared, and knocked. Silence. Chloe was determined to talk to the brunette, so she knocked again. This time there was a muffled "coming", followed by some grunts and groans. The senior giggled slightly, knowing who was making those sounds. The moment was short lived however when the door swung open.

Chloe came face to face with Beca, who was wearing low-slung sweatpants and a long sleeved t-shirt. Her hair was tousled and wild as if she had just woken up, but Chloe was unable to focus on any of that. She took in the brunettes face. It was ghostly pale, aside from the dark circles around her eyes that seemed to increasingly get worse every time the redhead seen her. Her eyes were clouded, but not the usual sleep haze that Chloe had seen on multiple occasions. This was different, and it terrified Chloe that she couldn't read her best friend.

"hey Chloe." Her voice was laced with sleep, and she started rubbing her face and stepping aside for the taller girl to enter. The door was closed behind her and Beca went to resume her position on her bed, tucking the blanket to one side.

"hey Becs." Chloe replied, sitting down on the bed. She had so much to say, and was eager to start before she lost her nerve. "so I haven't really seen you around recently… and you've not been showing up to Bella's rehearsals. All the other girls have said they haven't heard from you too." Chloe sighed, meeting Beca's eyes. They still held nothing. "what I'm trying to say is that I'm worried about you. We all are." She watched Beca's face, looking for any indication that yes, there is something bigger going on. A look of trepidation crossed the brunettes face, but was quickly replaced with a fake smile.

"tell them not to worry. I'll be back causing havoc with Blondezilla next session." Beca winked, trying to sell herself more. This time Chloe wasn't buying it.

"Beca please don't shut me out. I meant it when I said that id support you. All of the girls will." She grabbed the younger girl's hands, surprised when she felt them trembling. Chloe could see the anxiety growing on her face, further supporting her negative thoughts. When the redhead was met with silence, she ploughed on.

"we can go to the doctors together if you want? We can get through this togeth- "

"no." the placid look that had dominated her features was now filled with fear. Chloe didn't think Beca knew she was pulling this face. It was quickly replaced with a tight-lipped smile.

"I mean; I already went to the doctors. It is all sorted. Seriously, don't worry." Beca squeezed her hands, trying to send the message that she didn't want to talk about it.

Chloe nodded slowly, knowing she wasn't going to get anywhere like this. "okay." She stood up and started walking out the door. Beca, for reasons unknown, didn't want Chloe to leave. Without thinking, she grabbed the redheads hand. Chloe turned, startled, waiting for an explanation. If Beca wasn't going to talk, there was no point in Chloe being there.

Beca shifted nervously, trying to quell her anxiety before asking, "will you stay with me?".

Chloe just stared, feeling shocked at the brunette's initiation of contact. Snapping out of her daze, Chloe nodded, starting to pull off her shoes. Beca smiled, relieved and started organising the blankets so that Chloe could lay next to her. They fell into their position, Beca's head resting under Chloe's chin. They linked their hands over the senior's stomach, playing with each other's fingers. The silence that surrounded them was comfortable, and Beca was just drifting off to sleep when a soft voice floated through the room. Beca smiled when she recognised the song, the meaning not going unnoticed. When the chorus rolled around, Beca joined in, harmonising with Chloe so perfectly – as if the song was writing for them.

 _Lights will guide, you home._

 _And ignite, your bones._

 _And I will try, to fix you._

Beca glanced up to see Chloe staring at her, her impossibly blue eyes boring into her. The song was right. There was no light brighter than the sparkle in Chloe's eyes right then. She could see a million possibilities within them, sending a tingling across her spine. Her bright eyes were bringing Beca back, pulling her out of the stone prison she had made for herself, and bringing her into the open. Into safety. Beca realised that she had found her home within Chloe.

With a warm feeling in her stomach, she settled into the deepest sleep she'd had in weeks.

 **A/N – be prepared for more fluff in the next few chapters. Did you expect what happened? What do you think comes next? I love you awesome nerds!**


	7. Chapter 7

_**Hey guys, me again. Work has been kicking my butt, so its gonna take a little longer to update in these next couple of weeks. But to make up for it, there may or may not be a lil bit of BeChloe smut in the next chapter. MAYBE. As always, my love goes out to those who took time to review/favourite/follow, you guys are my inspiration! Enough chit chat!**_

Chloe had never been someone to shy away from physical contact. She thrived on it, always reaching out to touch her friends, to hug them when they're down or just to be close to them. It brought comfort Chloe as much as the person on the receiving end. But being curled up to Beca Mitchell was something completely different.

The brunette was moody and distant, always with some form of scowl or look of disdain on her face. She was a tiny ball of attitude and if you prodded too hard, she would unleash her fury. But when she was asleep she was an entirely different person. Her face was relaxed; the frown line between her eyebrows all but vanished. An air of peace surrounded her, and to anyone else she would look young and vulnerable. It was one of the reasons Chloe loved to watch her sleep.

It wasn't long after Beca had fallen asleep that Chloe just stared, admiring the DJ. Beca's breaths came out deep and evenly, so the redhead knew she would not be disturbing her. Gently, Chloe started tracing her face. She ran her index finger down between her eyebrows, smoothing out the skin, down to her cheeks and over the dark circles that rimmed her closed eyes. She pressed her palm to the corner of Beca's jaw, running her thumb along her jawline, savouring the soft skin. Satisfied that she had memorised every inch of the tiny brunette, she laid her head back and closed her eyes, dreaming of eyes the colour of the ocean.

Heavy breathing. The sound of laboured pants was pulling Chloe from her deep slumber. Pulling her tired eyes open, the redhead was momentarily confused. _Where am I?_ She was about to sit up when she felt a weight against her side. It all came back. She was in Beca's dorm room, laying on her bed. The memory brought a grin to Chloe's face, until she realised who was making those awful wheezing noises.

Looking down at Beca, she was taken aback at the change in the younger girl. Before they had fallen asleep, the brunette had the face of peace, muscles relaxed, and some colour had returned to her cheeks. But she was anything but relaxed now. There was sweat glistening on her forehead, making the dark hair stick to her face. Her eyebrows were furrowed in a grimace and her lips were parted, releasing short, uneven breaths. It all paled in comparison to the ghostly white colour her face had reverted back to. It took everything in Chloe not to immediately panic, as she realised that Beca had a chunk of her shirt clumped tightly in her fist. Knowing she could never prise open a grip as determined as that, she Chloe did the only thing she could do.

"Becs, wake up." Chloe pushed the hairs on the brunette's forehead away, running her hands down to her cheek and stroking gently trying to wake her, but to no avail.

"Beca." She said, slightly louder. There was still no response from the other girl. Chloe was starting to worry now, wondering what was causing Beca so much discomfort. Her worry was heightened when tears started to slip from the corner of her eyes. Chloe reacted, moving out from under the girl and placing both hands on her cheek, catching the tears with the pads of her thumbs.

"Beca, sweetie, come on wake up." Chloe was just starting to give up when Beca's eyes flew open. Chloe could see that they were bloodshot, her pupils dilated from sleep. It shocked the redhead at the vulnerability displayed in her dark blue orbs. They glanced around frantically before settling on Chloe. The DJ's mouth opened and closed several times before settling on one word.

"Chloe." She spoke so softly that the redhead had to strain to hear.

"I'm here. You're okay." Chloe continued to rub comforting circles on her cheeks. The way she was propped up on her elbows, she could feel the smaller girl's breaths against her side. The way her chest was rising and falling less rapidly; starting to resemble something calm. The two girls just gazed into each other's eyes, feeling the situation become more comfortable and calm. The death grip that Beca had on Chloe's shirt was starting to loosen. The redhead smiled comfortingly, tracing Beca's cheekbones. This seemed to snap something inside the brunette, because she broke eye contact, looking down in embarrassment. Just this small action sent relief washing through Chloe, knowing that this was the exact thing she expected from Beca in any normal situation.

"Hey look at me," Chloe tugged on her chin, making her look back up at her. "Are you okay?" she could see the conflicted emotions on Beca's face. Chloe waited patiently, allowing Beca the time she needed to answer. And Chloe could see that she was about to do just that – her lips poised to form words, but nothing came out. Instead, Beca's eyes widened, her eyebrows knitting together and her breath catching.

"Bec-"before Chloe could even finish her sentence, Beca was pushing her away. Literally pushing her out of the way as she scrambled off of the bed. Small whimpers of pain came from the brunette as she swung her legs off of the bed, rushing as fast as her tired frame could carry her.

This was short lived however as she all but collapsed into the small En suite toilet, only pushing the lid up in time for the vomit to fall into the basin. Chloe was shocked at this turn of events, but was quick to react. Almost instantly, she was holding the long brown hair away from Beca's face, rubbing soothing circles on her back. Chloe could feel Beca trembling under her finger as she threw up everything she had, dry heaving when nothing else would come up. Glancing around, Chloe spotted mouthwash at the edge of the sink. Pulling Beca's hair into a bun with a hair tie on her wrist, Chloe quickly grabbed the bottle of mouthwash and poured a generous amount into the cap. Settling down on her knees, Chloe handed the cap to Beca, who was now taking deep breaths, leaning her forehead on her arm which was laying on the edge of the seat. The brunette smiled weakly and took it shot-style, swishing it around her mouth before spitting it out. Chloe knew that if she let her, Beca would fall asleep right here right now.

"Bec come on, let's get you back to bed." Beca looked up, swaying slightly as her vision swam. She could already feel sleep pulling at the corner of her eyes and was content to just setting where she was.

"Looks like I'm carrying you then." Chloe pulled Beca's other arm over her neck, and slipped her own arm around the brunette's waist. Trying to ignore the tingling feeling running up her arm as her fingers slipped under Beca's shirt, she hoisted them both up. Beca was a dead weight, legs shaking from exhaustion. But she weighed next to nothing on a good day, so it was easy to pull Beca back to bed.

Laying her down, Chloe pulled the covers around the younger girl, making sure she was wrapped up. She walked back into the En suite, pouring some water into a glass on the shelf. Chloe could still smell the vomit, realising that they hadn't even bothered to flush the toilet. Chloe proceeded to do so, trying to wrap her head around everything. She knew there was something wrong, but if Beca didn't want to talk about it now, then she never would. Chloe had to respect that. Taking a deep breath, she walked back into the room, where Beca was now laying on her side, eyes closed and lips parted. Chloe's insides melted, seeing Beca look so comfortable. Chloe placed the water down on the side of the bed, before kissing the DJ's forehead, lingering just slightly longer than she should. Knowing she had already outstayed her welcome, Chloe turned, ready to leave when a hand gripped her wrist. Chloe turned to see Beca staring at her, a thoughtful look in her eyes.

"stay." that one word sent Goosebumps rippling all over Chloe's body, rendering her speechless. All she could do was nod as she climbed back into bed. Beca instantly turned into her, wrapping herself almost completely into Chloe. The redhead was falling back into a deep slumber, and she couldn't tell whether it was her imagination or not, but just before she lost her hold of consciousness, she swore she felt wet dropping onto her exposed neck.

"Okay ladies, I want to go over the middle part of the song today, we need to tighten up the harmonies and nail it all down before we can move on to the next part."

Collective groans where heard from all of the Bella's, but it didn't faze Aubrey in the least. She knew these girls would thank her in the long run. She was about to start the session with a warm up when a blur of movement in her periphery caught her attention. Before she could focus her full attention on the figure walking through the doors, high pitched squeals filled the auditorium.

"Shortstack! You're not dead!"

"Hey midget, nice of you to turn up."

"I made the president soup with my twin's kidney." The room went silent, either not hearing, or not wanting to acknowledge Lily's comment. Aubrey watched as the girls engulfed Beca in a group hug, the look of discomfort making an appearance before that trademark smirk replaced it.

"I couldn't leave you weirdos. You'd miss me too much." Beca winked, earning a laugh from everyone.

Chloe watched the exchange next to Aubrey, confusion bubbling in her gut. Not two days ago, Chloe watched as the shell of the brunette threw everything she had up into the toilet, while showing almost every vulnerability that would never see the light of day in a normal situation. But watching her now, it was as if that girl was gone, hidden behind a smirk and dark eyeliner. The redhead was snapped out of her reverie when a sharp whistle pierced the air.

"There will be time for this at the end. Positions!" the blonde clapped her hands, making all of the girls run to their respective positions. If there was something that Aubrey Posen was good at, it was bending the wills of everyone in her path.

It didn't take much to convince the girls that rehearsals was over. Everyone gravitated towards their bags before going about their day promptly, not wanting to be held back by Aubrey. Chloe was putting her water bottle away when she spotted Beca packing her own bag. She looked much better than the last time the redhead had seen her, but there was still a look of discomfort etched into her features. Walking over, Chloe noticed that the limp had returned.

"Hey you! Do you wanna go grab some lunch?" the senior decided to ignore this for now, instead opting just to enjoy Beca's company. The brunette made eye contact and smirked, unknowingly making Chloe swoon. Beca was about to reply when a voice cut through the room.

"Beca, a word?" Aubrey beckoned her over. All Beca could do was roll her eyes, knowing that arguing would be futile. She walked over, feeling the redhead's gaze lingering on her as she stood face to face with the captain, a knowing look twisting her stern features. Anxiety bubbled, in Beca's chest as she watched Aubrey's eyes flick down to her leg, and back up again to her face. The brunette could feel the air thickening with every passing moment, before the blonde finally spoke.

 _ **A/N – uh oh. What was said? What is going on with Beca? Will Chloe figure it out?**_


	8. Chapter 8

_**Hey lovely, amazing, awesome people! A couple of people are asking why Beca doesn't tell Chloe… or anyone for that matter. Patience! There is a time and place! And that is coming up. Also, this is part one of two smut-central. You have been warned! Also, I was curious. Rebel Wilson has confirmed a PP4! Who else is excited?**_

"I have every mind to kick you out of the Bella's Beca." Beca scoffed internally. Aubrey was always to the point. "Your lack of effort, input and… pretty much everything over these past couple of weeks has given me every reason to take back your scarf. With regionals next week I expected more effort, and you've given me nothing. I should make you take your chair and leave." Aubrey's stern tone, hardset eyes and words – despite Beca's disdain for the blonde – struck a chord with the brunette. This was the first time she had felt a part of something, and she'd already messed it up. Looking into the seniors eyes, she could already see the decision had been made.

"But I'm not going to do that." Beca's eyes snapped up, unsure whether she had heard her correctly. Was she going crazy?

"What?" Beca couldn't even hide the disbelief in her voice.

"Beca," Aubrey's voice softened, her eyes showing something new. Was it compassion? She couldn't tell. "As much as you may think I'm heartless, I'm not. I care about my girls. Before anything else I want to know that they are okay, and if they aren't then they should know that I will do anything in my power to help them." the blonde's green eyes bored into Beca's, trying to pull the truth out of the smaller girl. "But I can't help them if they shut people out." That should have been it for the brunette. She should have come clean there and then, confessing that yes, she had cancer and no, she couldn't do this alone, despite the fact she was trying to convince herself otherwise. But there was something deep in her brain screaming at her that nobody could help her. That she was alone and it should stay that way. God knows it makes it easier for everyone else when the inevitable happens. So she did what she always did.

"I'm okay. Don't worry yourself blondie, puking is the last thing we need." Her trademark smirk graced her features, hiding her inner turmoil. Beca watched a stricken look cross Aubrey's face, before calm replaced it.

"Once you're ready to talk, I'm here to listen. When you walk for so long on your own with no one to lean on, eventually your legs give out and you fall. You may think you can do this alone but sometimes you don't have to." Aubrey grabbed her stuff and turned, but not before adding,

"Let us walk for you for a while. I think we both know you need It." and with that she left, leaving a gobsmacked Beca standing, gawping at the door. Her thoughts were swirling around her head at a million miles an hour, struggling to grasp a single one. _Does she know? Was is just some stupid metaphor? How the hell could she possibly know?_ She was snapped out of her thoughts when Chloe came bounding over, a worried smiled in place.

"Hey what was that about?"

"Oh nothing!" it came out far too quick for it to be convincing, judging by the hesitant look being thrown Beca's way. She quickly composed herself, smirking again.

"Blondezilla just wanted to remind me to take my 'ear monstrosities' out for Regionals." She added air quotation marks for affect, earning a laugh from the redhead. She loved the way Chloe's whole face lit up, her eyes twinkling and her lips pulling back over perfect teeth in a jaw-dropping grin. Suddenly Beca's smile didn't seem so forced.

"Always the charmer. So hey, there's going to be a party at the highnotes place tonight, and all Aca-people are invited. Drinks included." Chloe winked, looping her arm in Beca's as they walked to the diner they favoured over every other place on campus. "Are you gonna come?" Chloe looked so hopeful, and it made Beca's heart melt. She couldn't say no to this beautiful girl. _Wait, what?! Sack up Mitchell._ Chloe watched Beca's face closely, looking for any kind of emotional giveaway, but was met with a placid expression. Her heart was beginning to sink when a smirk tugged the corners of the brunette's lips.

"How could I say no to free alcohol?" as soon as the words left her lips, Chloe squealed and threw herself onto the younger girl, and the only thing that was going through Beca's mind at that moment was that she would still have good days. And she would live every moment as if it was her last.

The party was in fully swing by the time Beca had got there. Chloe had told her to be there for 8pm, because "no party starts at the time the host tells everyone to be there by." But only an hour after the designated time, there were already drunk students littering the porch, and if the music was anything to go by, there would be at least a room full of people grinding on each other.

Sure enough as she walked in, the smell of sweat and cheap booze assaulted her senses, the living room alive with people dancing and singing. Girls, wearing clothes that shouldn't even be legal, grinding their hips up against boys who were barely keeping themselves upright. It all seemed a bit too erotic for Beca, so she went in search for her friends, or a drink. Whichever came first?

"SHORTSTACK!" Beca whipped her head around, spotting the Australian just in time before she barrelled into the shorter girl, scooping her up in a bear hug. The brunette could hardly breathe as her face was plunged into the blonde's ample cleavage.

"Amy! Give a girl room to breathe!" Stacie laughed as she pulled Beca away. The scowl that followed could freeze over a desert.

"At least let me have a drink before I go boob diving Amy." Beca internally scolded herself, the sentence coming out lame. But it earned laughs from the other girls, so she must have said something right. Stacie draped one long arm around the smaller girl, leading her to where the drinks had been laid out.

"Come on Bec's, you need to get on this level."

Chloe was disappointed. There was no denying that. She had hoped Beca would come, even made the effort to invite her face to face so she wouldn't have a choice but say yes. But it was almost 1am, and there had been no sign of the broody DJ. Chloe had asked Ashley and Jessica to keep an eye out, but they had come up empty too. It sent a pang of sadness through the redhead's heart, knowing that Beca had outright lied to her.

Red solo cup in hand, Chloe walked towards where she had left Aubrey, about to let her know that she was leaving when a hand clamped down on her shoulder. Startled, she turned, only to be face to face with Stacie.

"Hey Stace, have you seen Aubrey? I was going to tell her-"

"Chloe, you have to come with Me." the leggy brunette grabbed her free hand and started pulling her towards the back garden of the house.

"Stacie what's going on?" Stacie turned, a look of pure guilt on her face.

"Okay don't be mad… I swear I didn't know Amy had been giving her vodka all night. It was only a couple of shots of some kind of whiskey but now she's-"Stacie was cut off when a wild scream could be heard from the garden. The two girls shared a look before running outside. The sight before them was something neither of them expected.

Some kind of fort had been built out of the garden chairs and tables. It was built high and thin, forming a sort of tower. Fat Amy was stood next to it, trying to reach down and grab something inside, but to no avail.

"Amy! What the hell is going on?" the blonde looked up at Chloe's voice, a mixture of shock and guilt written all over her face.

"This wasn't my fault ginger! You have fun trying to get the midget out of here. I've met dingo's less aggressive than her!" Amy stalked off in search of another drink as Chloe and Stacie walked up to the tower. Peering inside, they could see a small form huddled at the bottom.

"Becs… you okay in there?" Chloe was shocked. She had no idea Beca was even here. Before she could lose herself in her thoughts, Beca popped out of the top of the opening, a broad smile on her face.

"Chloe baby! Where the hell have you been?" despite her slurred speech, her words sent a tingling sensation down Chloe's spine. The redhead took in her appearance.

She was wearing a dark green and black flannel shirt over a tight tank top, with black skinny jeans and Doc Martins. Her hair was loosely curled and her eyeliner made her dark blue eyes pop.

"Hey Beca… how about we get you home yeah?" Chloe tentatively reached a hand out, to which the brunette took gracefully. She was about to walk forward when she remembered where she was.

"Umm… I think I'm stuck." Beca giggled to herself. Chloe just sighed, ready for a long night.

Chloe decided it was best to take Beca back to her apartment just around the corner of the Highnotes sorority house. It was a shorter walk than Baker Hall, and she wanted to keep an eye on Beca, given the amount she had drank.

Stumbling down the street, Beca's arm slung around the redheads neck, Chloe couldn't help but let her mind wander. The proximity of their bodies was sending her mind into overdrive, and she couldn't understand why. _Do I like Beca? Am I drunk? What is happening?_

"Hey hey Chloe. Who am I?" Beca pulled away from Chloe and stopped them, before turning to face her. She pulled her shirt off of her shoulders, swaying slightly and gestured to her chest.

"I'm pretty confident about…" she grabbed her boobs and pulled a seductive face. "All this." Chloe burst out laughing, remembering the day all too well. Beca grinned, watching the redhead bend over in a fit of giggles. _I did that,_ she thought, making her grin wider.

The rest of the walk was uneventful after that, tiredness finally settling in as they opened the door into the apartment. Chloe led them to her room, watching as Beca fought to keep her eyelids open. As they made their way into the redhead's room, Chloe help but laugh as Beca flopped face first onto her bed. She admired the small figure, especially how good her ass looked in her jeans. _Damn it Chlo! Head out of the gutter!_ Shaking her head, she pulled a pair of sleep shorts and a tank top out of her draw, before tossing them lightly onto the brunettes head. A small groan was all she got in response.

"Come on Becs, you can't sleep in that!" it seemed groaning was the only thing Beca could do. Sighing, Chloe walked over to the bed and rolled Beca over and pulling her up by her arms, eliciting a string of curse words from the smaller girl.

"It's either you do it yourself or I help you." No response.

"Okay, have it your way." Chloe started tugging at the shirt, before two hands grasped her wrists. Gasping, the redhead looked up only to see Beca staring back at her. In the moonlight, her eyes were sparkling, her pupils dilated. She was smiling softly, and it send butterflies dancing around in Chloe's stomach.

"Has anyone ever told you that you're beautiful?" Beca spoke softly. Chloe had never seen her like this before. It was scary and exciting and she couldn't help but want more. More of this feeling. More, she realised, of Beca.

"People should tell people more often that their beautiful. And you are. Beautiful I mean. And I'm not just talking about your face. It's just you. Everything about you. I can't get enough of it." Beca reached a hand out and cupped Chloe's face, smiling lightly. This was all it took for Chloe to lose any ounce of control she had.

Chloe leant forward slowly, giving the brunette time to back away. It took a second for Beca to reciprocate, capturing the redhead's lips with her own. Chloe could feel a fire ignite deep in her stomach as Beca swiped her tongue across her lower lip, not wasting a moment as she granted access. The hands gripping Beca's shirt started pulling away the material, exposing the DJ's flower tattoo on her shoulder. There was heat behind every movement, Goosebumps rising on every bit of exposed flesh. But it wasn't enough. They both needed more.

Chloe pushed Beca down onto the bed, discarding of the shirt on the floor. When Beca was leaning comfortably back on her elbows, Chloe wasted no time in straddling the younger girls hips, before she locked their mouths again. She grabbed Beca's hands and raised them above her head, locking their fingers together as Chloe trailed light kisses down Beca's jaw to the soft spot behind the ear. A moan ripped through the air as Beca involuntarily bucked her hips, feeling heat pooling at her core. This only spurred Chloe on as she moved her kisses down to the freshman's collarbone, biting the soft skin before sucking on it with her tongue.

"Fuck, Chlo…" Beca moaning her name only pushed her further. Moving her mouth back to the brunettes, Chloe grabbed her waist, pushing the material of her tank top up over toned skin. She stopped just below Beca's bra, silently asking for permission. A slight nod. She pushed the material higher, exposing a lacy back bra. Beca's hands found their home on the redhead's ass, gripping and pulling them impossibly closer, the friction provoking a moan from both of them. Before they knew what was happening, clothes were flying everywhere, being ripped off while hands roamed freely. Chloe didn't know where this was going to go, but she sure as hell wasn't going to stop.

 _ **A/N – smut continues next chapter. Sorry for the super awkward cliffhanger. I love you awesome nerds!**_


	9. Chapter 9

_**Okay, so a couple of you are almost willing me to have Beca tell Chloe. All in good time! In order for this story to work, it is paramount that Beca DOES NOT TELL CHLOE YET. I'm sorry, I'm a terrible human being. I'm afraid this is the closest you guys are gonna get to a confession.**_

 _ **Also, if anyone Is affected by the issues raised in this fic, please do not hesitate to contact me. either on here or on Snapchat. My user is : natalini_xx. Or if anyone has any questions or thoughts, id love to hear them! I'm open to changing things up a little bit :)**_

Beca could believe what was happening. _I'm kissing Chloe Beale!_ Her heart was pounding as Chloe trailed hot, wet kisses down her neck. At some point they had discarded their outer clothing, leaving them in nothing but their underwear. Beca's mind had instantly cleared the alcohol pulsing through her veins, replacing it with a strong lust. She could feel the redhead's hands gliding over her stomach, the muscles rippling under her delicate touch. This was unlike anything she had every experienced; fireworks exploding in her chest, heat pooling at her core.

"Fuck Chloe…" Beca ran her hands through the soft red curls, pulling her up for another kiss. Chloe was still straddling her hips, grinding slowly. It was all too much but not enough at the same time. Beca placed her hands on the curves of Chloe's hips, grasping tightly and pulling her down harder. The added friction in all the right places pushed strangled gasps from the two girls, moving in sync with each other as if they were already accustomed to every bend and curve of their bodies.

Chloe shifted slightly, placing one of her knees in between Beca's legs, right up against her core. The brunette relished the contact, but the moment was short lived. Chloe's other leg was pressing against Beca's right knee, clamping it between the redhead's thighs. It would be incredibly hot and in any other situation, she would have taken advantage of this. But a deep ache had started to resonate from Beca's knee, spreading up her leg, replacing any and all pleasure that was there. It was becoming increasingly hard to ignore, and Chloe was starting to notice the stiffness radiating from the younger girl. The redhead pulled back slightly, locking eyes with Beca. She could see lust there, but also something else – Chloe couldn't place it. Before she had time to ponder it, she was being pulled back down into a searing kiss.

Beca could now feel intense pain radiating up and down her leg, but she couldn't stop. Every fibre of her body was on fire with passion and longing, but that didn't stop small hissing noises from escaping her nose as each pulse of pain shot through her.

This didn't go unnoticed by Chloe, and she pulled back once again. This time she watched the girl's face, watching it contort in discomfort before quickly being covered.

"Beca…" she was about to climb off when the brunette yet again pulled her back down, small whimpers escaping her lips. But these weren't noises of passion.

"Becs… stop." Chloe removed her hands from her waist as she started to climb off of the freshman. Untangling her legs, she was about to swing her feet over the bed, when a loud yelp stopped her in her tracks.

Chloe watched as Beca seemed to physically fold into herself. Wrapping her arms around her knees protectively, she started rocking, trying to defer the pain from where Chloe had put too much pressure on her knee. It was hopeless, as tears started streaming down her face, hidden from the redhead's intense gaze by her dark hair.

"Beca?" Chloe moved over slowly, not wanting the other girl to close off any further. When she got no response, save for the small whimpers that sounded sporadically. Chloe was becoming progressively worried that she had overstepped her mark badly, misreading the situation completely. _She's drunk for god sakes. What were you thinking Beale?!_

"Becs talk to me… are you okay?" Beca looked up then, tears falling freely down her face. Chloe's heart broke, the brunette never showing so much emotion so voluntarily. The redhead moved instantly to her side, pulling her close and whispering sweet nothings in an attempt to calm her.

"Chloe… Chlo I'm so fucked. Please don't leave me." another round of sobs racked the smaller girl's body, her hands holding on for dear life. Chloe just held on tighter, confusion and sadness washing over her.

"I won't leave you. I would never leave you. But I can't help you unless you talk to me." Chloe didn't expect anything, knowing that it was a vain attempt at finding out the truth. What she wasn't expecting was for Beca to reply.

"I'm gonna die Chlo… fuck I'm gonna die." Her voice was barely audible in amongst the gasps and hiccups, but Chloe heard it loud and clear. Her heart dropped, a new sense of dread filling her stomach.

"Beca," Chloe situated the girl so she was facing her, but was met with drooping eyelids, ready to close at any moment. "What do you mean 'you're going to die'? What's going on?" the redhead was almost begging, needing the truth before the dread consumed her. She was searching for any signs of consciousness in the rapidly fading girl when a soft voice started singing.

" _I will not kiss you…_

 _Lips are chapped and faded, faded."_

Beca's voice cut off slowly, as Chloe watched her pass out in her arms, the crying and alcohol finally pulling her under. All Chloe could do was hold this shell of girl who was slowly falling to pieces, hoping that she could hold her together long enough to pull her out the other end the dark place she had found herself in.

 _ **A/N – this song is kinda fitting I suppose. I love you all, awesome nerds!**_


	10. Chapter 10

_**Okay… so don't hate me. Please. It was hard writing this chapter, for obvious reasons. And it will get worse before it gets better but I guess you signed up for that right? I did warn you at the start of this story.**_

Beca woke with a hypothetical jack hammer pounding against her skull. The relentless pounding brought her into consciousness, her eyes opening slowly. Her first thought was _this is not my room._ As much as she should be worried, Beca couldn't bring herself to get up. The pillows and duvet held a soft vanilla smell, and she felt so warm and content that the last thing she wanted to do was face reality. _Wait… vanilla. I know that smell…_ her thoughts wandered to the rest of her body and that's when she felt it. An arm was draped around her waist, clutching the front of a shirt that Beca now realised was not her own. It was too big, and _way_ too bright for it to be hers. The body that was pressed against hers was like a furnace, radiating a steady, calming heat. Beca knew instantly who this was.

Lifting the arm and prising the fingers gently away from her shirt, Beca released herself from Chloe's grasp. She glanced back and her breath caught. Chloe always looked so peaceful when she slept. The corners of her mouth turned up, and her flaming red hair fanned around her head like a halo. Shaking her head, Beca worked her way to the end of the bed, feeling waves of exhaustion rolling through her body. Every bone in her body was complaining, and it was only now that she noticed the deep throbbing in her knee. That was when it hit her. The drinking. The fort. Chloe taking her back to her apartment. The… no. it couldn't be real. Could it?

Beca quickly and quietly changed back into her discarded clothes from last night, trying in vain to ignore the nausea that was building in her stomach. She thought she had succeeded in being stealthy, but the thought came crashing down when she felt a hand grip her wrist.

"Jesus fucking Christ!" Beca jumped back, stumbling on her bad leg slightly. She locked eyes with Chloe, who was staring intensely into the brunette's eyes. The look of concern in Chloe's bright blue eyes just heightened Beca's anxiety. _What did I do last night... what did I tell her?_

"Sorry! I'm sorry I just…" Chloe looked down at the brunettes shoe clad feet and frowned slightly. "Are you leaving?" Beca nodded, feeling it was slightly obvious. She tried her best to lighten to mood.

"yeah, I need to catch up on some much needed beauty sleep and I figured you'd rather me drool all over my own pillows." Chloe didn't laugh, didn't react at all. It was disconcerting.

Chloe sighed, sitting up and taking both of the younger girl's hands. They were both trembling, a complete 180 turn on the calm, steady girl Chloe had come to know.

"Beca… I really think we should talk about last night." The brunette's breath caught. This could only end badly.

"I can't really remember most of it… maybe fill me in?" Beca tried to hide the waver in her voice, but to no avail. Chloe nodded and pulled her to sit opposite her, still holding Beca's hands, running soothing circles over her knuckles.

"Don't freak out okay? I was just as shocked as you." Beca nodded, urging her to continue. "Okay so at the party you were crazy drunk. I don't think I've ever seen you like that before." Chloe chuckled at the memory of Beca in her fort. "You decided to build a fort, but I managed to get you out of it. I figured it would be easier to bring you back here considering you couldn't actually walk in a straight line. We got back here and you were already falling asleep so I gave you some sleep clothes but you just weren't cooperating. So I tried to help but we…" Chloe's story faltered. She knew what came next, but saying it made it real. And she didn't know whether she was ready for that yet. Beca squeezed her fingers lightly, letting her know it was okay to continue.

"We kissed. A lot. I would love to say that it was just friendly but it wasn't. It was hot and passionate and… I don't know. It had more behind it than just platonic feelings. Anyway, I think I must have sat on you funny or done something wrong because you started crying… and saying stuff. You started singing a song before you basically just passed out." Chloe was looking anywhere but Beca throughout the whole speech, but was now staring deep into Atlantic blue eyes. In them was pure fear, while the rest of her face tried to subdue it.

"What did I say?" Beca was sure she couldn't have betrayed herself like this.

"You asked me not to leave you… you told me you were dying." Chloe focused intently on the brunettes face, trying to find any tell-tale signs that there was truth behind the words. The only giveaway was the slight intake of breath. Chloe could feel panic building in her chest.

"Is this true? Why can't you talk to me?" the redhead could feel herself getting flustered, squeezing Beca's hands as if she could force the truth out of her.

"It's not true. I was drunk, I didn't know what I was saying. Look I appreciate your concern, but I should really get going." Beca stood up to leave, knowing she couldn't face Chloe without crying right now but the redhead had other ideas. She grabbed onto her arm, effectively spinning the younger girl around to face her.

"No! Stop shutting me out! When are you going to realise that I want to help you?!" Chloe's frustrations were pouring out of her, ripping into the stubborn girl stood in front of her.

"There's nothing to help Chloe! I'm fine!" Beca was getting angry – she didn't mean to, hell the last person she ever wanted to get mad at was Chloe Beale. But it was her defence mechanism. Without it, her secrets would be leaking out of every pore of her body.

"You're clearly not!" Chloe lowered her voice. "Beca, all I want is to be here for you, but I can't unless-"Chloe was reaching out to take the smaller girls shoulders, but was cut off when she shoved the redhead away forcefully.

Beca knew exactly what she was doing. Despite it being the last thing she ever wanted to do, she knew if she was harsh enough, Chloe would eventually get the message.

"I don't need babying Chloe, Jesus Christ. You can't even believe me when I say I'm okay." Beca turned towards the door, feeling bile rising in her throat when the next words left her mouth. "Thank you for making me realise how big of a mistake this was." And with that, the brunette left, leaving a stunned Chloe in her wake.

Luke watched as the small brunette lent her head back into the bed, closing her eyes. The IV lines and radiation tubes were poking out of her arms, the discoloured liquid making its way into her bloodstream. He could already see that she had paled considerably, the anticipation and side effects taking its toll.

When Beca had asked Luke to come in with her, he didn't hesitate, knowing what it took for her to ask this. She had said that she and Chloe had argued earlier, but she spoke nothing more of it. Instead opting to turn the radio up in the blonde's car. Seeing her look so dejected now broke his heart.

"How you feeling Becky?" Luke poked her in the arm teasingly.

"Oh I'm feeling just swell." Beca replied in a mock English accent. _Nice to see the sarcasm hadn't disappeared,_ Luke thought.

"Thank you for coming in and… whatever." Luke could hear the insecurities surfacing in her voice.

"No problem." The blonde knew he wouldn't need to say much more. Their relationship was built on the things that they didn't say, to which they were both easily content about.

"I'm probably gonna catch some Zzz's… will you stay?" Beca opened her eyes, straining at the effort. The drugs were already pulling her under. She only just caught his yes before her eyelids closed, sending her into a deep sleep filled with images of bright blue eyes and flaming red hair.

 _ **A/N – I reiterate, PLEASE DON'T HATE ME.**_


	11. Chapter 11

_**I've had new inspirations for this story. Real life really puts it into perspective. I can't begin to imagine what it's like to be in this type of situation, but for the people who are and still manage to smile are the real heroes of this world. Never take life for granted, because you never know when it may change.**_

 _ **Thank you to everyone who continues to read, review, favourite/follow and just pay interest to this story. It's truly amazing how much of a response it has got in such a short space of time. Thank you.**_

"You know you're an idiot right?" Luke sighed as he adjusted his hold on Beca's hair. The small girl was throwing up everything she had into the bucket by the side of the bed. Luke wondered if it was possible to throw up all of her insides, the way she was going. It had start not long into the treatment; Beca writhing in pain in her sleep before her eyes shot open and she pretty much projectile vomited down her t-shirt. Luke was able to catch the majority of it in the bucket, but there was still a fair amount down her front.

"No… shit Sherlock..." Beca just managed to gasp out between heaving and spitting. She was hunched over the side of the bed, trying to stop the waves of nausea washing through her.

"The nurse did tell you that drinking while going through chemo is a really bad idea." Luke didn't mean to scold her, but he had to admit that this was beyond stupid. Beca sat up slowly, finally satisfied that she had emptied her stomach and nothing else was going to come up. Luke was shocked when he saw her face. There was a thin sheen of sweat coating her skin, which was a sickly pale colour. Her eyes were bloodshot and ringed with dark circles. It was truly a heart-breaking sight.

"Thanks for your concern or whatever, but you're not my babysitter. I can do what I want." Beca rolled her eyes and leaned her head back, trying to stop the room from swimming.

"I know I'm not your babysitter, but I'm your friend." Luke scooted closer. "And friends give friends advice. I'm not telling you how to live your life, but if you carry on the way you are you won't have a life to live." The words seem to have gone through, because Beca physically deflated. Her whole demeanour changed as she rolled over, facing away from Luke. All he could do was sigh. This was going to be a long afternoon.

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"Okay Ms. Mitchell, you're free to go." Beca smiled slightly at the nurse, because that's all she could physically muster. The drugs had kicked her ass today, and it took all of her effort to even stand. Luke insisted on getting a wheelchair, knowing that she couldn't make the walk to the car unaided. She wanted to argue, to say that _no she didn't need any help,_ but it was futile. She knew she needed it, and was touched that Luke knew too.

"Do you think there's a speed limit in the halls?" Beca chuckled slightly and Luke smiled, glad he had got some form of reaction from the girl. She was completely subdued from the harsh chemicals that had been pumped around her body.

"No, but I imagine people as uncoordinated as you would need a license to push people around." The brunette quipped. The remark wasn't up to her usual snarky standard, but it was the best she could muster.

"I'm sure there's a limit on the weight of the cargo to require a license. You weigh next to nothing midget."

"Whatever weirdo." Beca couldn't help the small smile that escaped her. The wheelchair was less than comfortable, and it was embarrassing to say the least. But the throbbing in her knee reminded her that she would not be able to walk these halls as far as she could throw.

They made it to the car in no time, the brunette grateful for the fresh air. There's was something about hospital smells that made her anxious. Luke parked the wheelchair parallel to the car.

"I'm gonna lift you up okay? Just grab hold of my neck." The blonde looked at her expectantly, not pushing her to move just yet. Beca was preparing to tell him that she could do it herself, it was just standing and sitting again. But the way her head was spinning and the pain in her leg which was steadily worsening told her to swallow her pride. So she nodded and wrapped her arms around Luke's neck. She felt his arms snake around her back, and was promptly lifted from the chair. Her feet didn't meet the floor when he straightened, but was in no way uncomfortable. Almost as soon as she had been lifted, she was being seated in the car. He was slow and careful with his movements as she got settled. He bent down and lifted her ankles, which now only had socks covering them, and placed them in the car. Beca didn't want her shoes on. The pain was already enough.

"Are you comfortable?" Luke asked with such sincerity that Beca could feel tears welling in her eyes. All she could do was nod.

As Luke got himself seated and the car turned on, she couldn't help but glace at the younger girl. She had tucked her left leg under her chin and pulled the hood of her hoodie over her head. Well, it was Luke's hoodie, but when she choked all over her own t-shirt and refused to wear the hospital gown, that was the only option. She had never seen the girl so fragile.

"So where are we headed?" Beca looked over, contemplating whether to go back to her dorm or not. That was quickly thrown out of the picture when she realised a certain redhead would know where to find her.

"Radio station?" Luke just smiled and pulled out.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

They arrived after about 20 minutes, but Beca was already fast asleep. It killed Luke to wake her, knowing that sleep had been scarce over the past month, but she could sleep on the couch once they were inside.

Luke reached over and gently shook the brunettes arm. When he got no response, he shook a bit harder and called her name softly. Still nothing. Luke started to worry, noticing the sweat that was on her face and the way her hands were trembling slightly.

"Becs, wake up. We're here." He leaned over the centre console and searched for a reaction. She was out cold.

"Beca seriously come on." He leaned over and tapped her cheek. When she didn't respond, Luke went in to tap again when a hand shot out, gripping his forearm. Beca's eyes snapped open, pure fear and confusion clouding them. Her breathing was erratic, and her eyes darted between Luke's, searching for clarity.

"Hey hey, it's okay. You're okay." Luke used his other hand to cup Beca's face, trying to get her to focus.

"Deep breaths. Come on do it with me. In… and out. There you go." Luke watched as the brunette followed his lead, taking deep, albeit shaky breaths. Her hand started to lose its grip, and her breathing was returning to normal when a small "Sorry" came out.

"It's okay. Don't worry. Do you want to talk about it?" Beca just shook her head. She didn't want to relive it.

"That's okay, I'll come and help you out." Before she had time to protest, he was out the car and walking around to her side. They were parked in the parking lot behind the radio station, and to get into the booth they had a flight of stairs and a lot of walking to do. They didn't take the wheelchair, so it was up to Beca to walk. Luke seemed to sense her inner turmoil.

"I can carry you if you want?" Beca knew that he probably could, knowing that he spent every evening pulling weights at the gym. But so close to home, where anyone could see them…

"No its okay. I think I can walk." Luke just nodded, standing back so she could get out. Taking a deep breath, Beca pulled herself out of the car. She felt wobbly at first, nausea bubbling in her empty stomach, but after a minute she felt okay. Ignoring the pain shooting up and down her leg, she started walking, Luke not far behind. She was doing well, taking small steps up to the back door of the station, when her knee buckled. As gravity took hold, the last thing she saw was the asphalt coming up to meet her as she squeezed her eyes closed. But the impact didn't come. Opening her eyes slowly, she saw that Luke was gripping her shoulders, preventing her from falling any lower. Without a word, he slung her right arm over his shoulder and secured his left arm around her waist. Beca just nodded, acknowledging the help. Together they hobbled through the doors and towards to stairs that led up to the main floor. He could feel Beca hesitate beside him. Luke looked down and was struck by the look of utter agony on the brunettes face. She hadn't told them to stop or slow down, trying her best to hide the pain that she was in.

"This stops here." Before Beca could respond, she was being swept off her feet. Literally. Luke's right arm hooked under her legs, pulling her up bridal-style. A sharp cry escaped her mouth, the pressure on her knee too much. Luke was swift with his movements, barrelling up the stairs and through the door, weaving expertly around the countless shelves of records and CD's. He used his foot to open the booth door, crossing the room in two steps before he reached the sofa. The blonde slowly lowered Beca to the couch, making sure to not hurt her any more than he already had.

Beca was panting hard, clenching her jaw at the pain and nausea radiating from her body.

"Dude, you didn't have to do that. I could have managed." Her voice was hoarse and shaky, but she still managed to sound pissed off. Luke dropped into the desk chair with a sigh.

"You don't have to pretend like you're not in pain. Its natural in a situation like this." His words were supposed to be comforting, but it only succeeded in making the brunette angry.

"In a situation like what Luke?" she shouted, the bitterness evident in her voice.

"I didn't mean it like-"Luke tried to start, but was quickly cut off.

"There's no other way that you could have meant it!" Beca's cheeks were turning red, her face contorting in anger.

"Beca calm down-"

"Don't you fucking dare tell me to calm down!" the brunette knew she overreacting, but she couldn't stop. "You don't understand! How could you?! You have no idea what it's like!" Beca was now up and pacing, her anger masking the flare of pain in her leg. Luke knew he needed to get this situation under control. He stood up slowly, trying not to startle the younger girl.

"So tell me. Tell me what it's like. Tell me how you feel." The brunette turned on him, eyes blazing.

"You want to know how I feel? Every fucking morning I wake up and I feel like I haven't even slept. I wake up and the pain is already there, reminding me. I can't eat without bringing it back up. I feel so fucking weak!" she was screaming now, her hands waving animatedly as she spilled every insecurity and fear since being diagnosed.

"What's worse?! I can't tell my best friend how I feel, because I know she'd be upset. I know there is nothing else I can do and I might fucking die Luke! Did you ever think about that? I could die and I don't want my best friend to plan my fucking funeral! I don't want this life…" tears were now falling freely down her face, her voice shaking.

"I don't want this life anymore… If I have to live with this… with fucking cancer…I just don't want to live anymore." Before she could say anymore, a cry escaped her, followed by racking sobs that she couldn't control. Luke quickly wrapped her up in an embrace, feeling Beca's knees give out and lowering them both to the floor. Her cries of anguish broke his heart, wishing he could take the pain she was feeling, even just for a day. It all felt more real now it was out in the open. They knew they would have to face the world eventually, but for now they were safe, wrapped up in themselves and decades of music which could carry their emotions for them.

After a while Luke realised that Beca had fallen asleep in his arms, the day finally catching up to her. In her front pocket, her phone pinged, indicating that she had a message. Curious, Luke pulled out her phone, seeing the message on the lock screen.

 **[17:34] Chloe – hey Becs… I came to your dorm earlier but you weren't there. Kimmy Jin said you hadn't been there all day, and I know you don't have any classes this afternoon. If you're avoiding me, that's okay, but I think we need to talk about last night. I just want to know you're okay. I'm worried… please call me xxx**

 _Oh Beca… what are you doing to yourself?_ Luke thought to himself as he held the younger girl tighter.

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 _ **A/N – more BeChloe next chapter lovelies. I love you awesome nerds!**_


	12. Chapter 12

_**I had a bit of writers block for this chapter… it's been a hard week. I'm sorry if it sucks. Still love all of you guys though!**_

 _ **The song used in this chapter is Hurt Tonight – One Republic**_

 _ **I really recommend you all have a listen, it's a beautiful song.**_

Beca didn't know what time it was when she woke up. Hell, she didn't know where she was either. The last thing she remembered was yelling at Luke, pouring her emotions out in a moment of weakness. The burden of the words she had spoken weighed heavily on her mind, and as much as she wanted to keep pretending that she was okay, it was becoming almost impossible. She was weak, exhausted and succumbing faster and faster to the disease that was wreaking havoc in her body.

 _I have cancer. There's no way I'm going to get through this._

The admittance further dampened her mood. This was going to be a long couple of months.

"Hey." Beca's head snapped round to come face to face with Luke. He was sat on his desk chair, looking at her expectantly. It was then she realised she was still in the radio station, laying on the sofa. A small throw blanket had been draped over her, tucked under her body. She was still in the days clothes, the hood of Luke's hoodie pulled over her head. She smiled warily.

"Hi." Her voice was soft and hoarse, the remnants of raw emotion laced into her words.

"Did you sleep okay?" Luke walked over, kneeling down in front of her.

"Umm… yeah, I guess." Beca pushed up on her elbows, feeling all of her muscles complaining with the effort.

"How are you feeling?" There it was. The million dollar question. They were simple words; people asked it every day, to which any person would respond with a seconds thought. But right now they scared her. They gripped her heart like a vice, making it harder to breathe, as her thoughts ran ramped as more questions floated through her brain.

 _How am I feeling? How am I supposed to feel? Should I be scared? Should I-_

"Beca." Luke's voice brought her out of her head. In many ways she was thankful.

"Yeah sorry. I'm fine." The brunette started to push herself to standing. Her leg had reduced to a dull throbbing, but the pain was still there, reminding her constantly that it was ravaging her knee. Almost as soon as she stood up she had to sit back down, nausea and dizziness forcing her to place her head in her hands.

"You know, it will make easier on all of us if you're honest." Beca lifted her head, the meaning behind it not going unnoticed. She decided to ignore it for now, focusing on her feelings right now.

"I don't know how to feel. I guess… I didn't really think it was true until yesterday. That I'd just wake up and…" Beca locked eyes with Luke, letting every vulnerability show. "am I going to die?" she quickly wiped the tears that were collecting in her eyes as Luke came up to sit next to her, wrapping a supportive arm around her shoulders.

"To answer your question honestly, I don't know." Beca recoiled slightly, preparing to argue but was cut off swiftly. "I can't predict what your future holds Becs. You could fight this thing in the next couple of weeks and go into remission and live the best life you could possibly live. Or the cancer could kick your ass and you lose. I can't tell you which one it's going to be, or if it's even any of those options. But this is the truth, and the sooner you accept that all these things are possible, the sooner you can decide how you feel." Luke pulled face from where she was staring at the floor. "But you have to fight. You can't give up. People need you Beca, people need you to fight and be okay and get through this with your head held high."

The younger girl wiped her tears hastily at the speech. No one had ever cared enough to stay with Beca, to put up with her refusal to talk and open up. But Luke had. Luke was the only one-

 _Oh…_ she thought. The penny had finally dropped. _How could I have been so stupid?_

Luke observed the brunettes face closely. She could see his words had made an impact – the furrowed brow and slight frown being an indication. But then everything changed. Her eyes widened, her lips parting as a gasp escaped her. Luke knew where this was going.

"Luke I- I've got to go." She jumped up quickly, throwing the blanket to the side. She ignored the pounding in her head and heart as she hobbled over to the bag they had taken to the hospital with them. Inside were her shoes, which she quickly put on. Beca could feel the blonde staring into the side of her head, watching her every move.

"Where are you going?" Beca looked at him and smirked, feeling more like herself then she had done in weeks.

"Who knows? I just know I've got some explaining to do." Luke smiled, remembering the text from Chloe earlier.

"Go get your girl I suppose." Beca just grinned and nodded. She was about to step out of the door when she realised she was still wearing Luke's hoodie. She began to pull it off when Luke's voice stopped her in her tracks.

"Keep it. It looks better on you." He winked and walked back to the chair, watching the small brunette walk towards the entrance to the radio station. His smile faltered slightly when he noticed she was limping heavily, but his smile returned quickly, knowing that she was pushing through the pain to sort everything out.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

 _Ricochet, you take your aim,_

 _Fire away, fire away_

Chloe was brought out of her sleep by the steady beats of David Guetta, Sia's voice pulling her eyes open.

 _You shoot me down, but I won't fall,_

 _I am Titanium_

Chloe blinked away the heavy sleep in her eyes, dazed slightly. She didn't know where the music was coming from, whether it was in her head or not. The redhead lifted her face out of the pillows to glance at the clock that glowed on her bedside table. 01:28am. The music was still floating through the room. There was no other way it could still be part of a dream-

 _Oh my god._ Throwing her arm out of bed, Chloe started searching the floor for her phone, which she had put on charge the night before. When she found it, she fumbled with the charger trying to unplug it, hastily throwing it on the floor and swiping the green button. There was only one person who had that ringtone.

"Hello?" there was still sleep lacing her voice.

" _Chloe?"_ the redhead sighed at the soft voice on the other end, feeling the calm that always followed it.

"Hey Becs."

" _Were you asleep? Wait no, you were totally asleep. Stupid question. I'm so-"_

"It's okay… I'm glad to hear from you. Are you okay?" the silence on the other end of the phone lasted for about a minute. Chloe even checked that they were still connected. She was about to ask again but Beca spoke up.

" _Are you busy right now?"_

"Umm…" Chloe looked around, thinking why she was hesitating. There was nothing else she could possibly be doing at one thirty in the morning

"No I'm not. Why?"

" _I was hoping you'd say that. Come outside."_

"Wait, Becs, what do you-"

" _Just trust me."_ Before Chloe could argue anymore, she was met with beeping, indicating Beca had hung up. Chloe had no idea how this was going to go down. She hadn't seen the girl since she stayed the night. They hadn't spoken about the events that had taken place. Chloe never felt awkward, but maybe this time would be an exception.

Quickly throwing on some jeans and a hoodie, she made her way out of her and Aubrey's shared apartment. Closing the door quietly and sneaking out was nothing new to her. It only took her five minutes to exit the building.

There was no one in sight. The street was quiet and dark, lit sporadically by streetlights. Chloe looked left and right, looking out for a small brunette girl to step out of the shadows, but the spotlights remained unoccupied. Chloe was about to give up, when her phone pinged with a text. Pulling her phone out of her back pocket, she opened the text.

 **[01:40] Beca – look to your left.**

Chloe followed the instruction, straining her eyes to see through the dark. There was still nothing noticeable. Another text chimed on her phone.

 **[1:41] Beca – behind the trees.**

Chloe looked again, this time behind the trees that led to a little side road. It was then she seen the truck parked to the side, lights off. She walked slowly towards it, not trusting that it was truly Beca's truck. She was about 10 meters away when the lights turned on, bathing her in light. She threw her hands in front of her eyes as the engine roared to life. The truck pulled away and up towards Chloe, the passenger window winding down in the process. Chloe was still blinking the spots from her eyes.

"I figured I'd help you out considering you were taking your sweet time." The voice Chloe had come to love floated out the window. The redhead opened her eyes and looked inside seeing Beca, her hair pulled into a loose ponytail and face free of makeup. Chloe smiled, opening the door and seating herself inside.

"To what do I owe the pleasure Ms. Mitchell?" Chloe put on her best snob-accent. Beca just smirked.

"This is a need-to-know basis Beale. And at the minute, you don't." Beca proceeded to pull away, feeling the burning in her leg but ignoring it. Beca's IPhone was connected to the car, music drifting through the speakers. This playlist was reserved for long, sleepless nights, where she was able to lose herself in the music and sort through her emotions. It was quickly becoming a favourite.

"So you're not going to tell me anything? You do realise it makes you sound like a kidnapper?" Beca just smirked. Knowledge truly was power.

"You might want to catch some sleep. It's going to be a while." Chloe looked sceptical at first, but nodded eventually. Tucking herself into the chair, she quickly fell back to sleep.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"Chloe wake up." Her shoulder was shaking lightly. Chloe opened her eyes, seeing Beca staring at her through the dark. When the brunette seen that Chloe was coming to, she smiled. The drive was quiet, not that Beca was complaining. She enjoyed the freedom she felt driving through the trees, not a single other person on the road. But with Chloe so close and yet so far away, deep in a dream Beca would never know about… now she knew how people felt with her.

"Welcome back." Before Chloe could respond, Beca was jumping out of the car, pulling a backpack with her that Chloe didn't realise she had. The redhead glanced around, not knowing what to do when her door was thrown open.

"What are you waiting for?" Beca presented her hand, encouraging Chloe to follow the younger girl. The redhead didn't know where this was headed, but there was only one way to find out. Taking her hand, Chloe jumped out the car.

They were at the same spot as before, right beside the Chattahoochee River. It was as if they had never left – the stars as bright as ever, reflected on the smooth river. It was still breath-taking. It was starting to become a place for them – an escape that only the two girls knew about. It was a safe space where they could talk, and that was exactly what Beca wanted to do.

"Come on." Beca tugged on their interlocked hands, leading them to the tailgate. If she was honest, the fresh air was making Beca feel more alive by the minute. It was still cold - her bones starting to seize up – but it was liberating to feel _something_ after feeling nothing at all after this all started. Beca reached up and unlatched the tailgate, lowering it and climbing up. Once Beca got her balance, she pulled Chloe up by their joined hands. The pain in her leg was becoming harder to ignore.

"Becs, what is all of this?" she gestured to the pillows and blankets that had been strapped down with bungees, along with her guitar case.

"I figured we might be here for a while, so I wanted you to be comfortable." Beca shrugged, pulling the pillows out. She placed them against the side and sat down heavily against them, stretching her legs out in front of her. When Chloe didn't move, Beca spoke up.

"You can sit down, I won't bite." The senior just nodded lamely, not knowing where this was going to go. It was as if the last few weeks didn't happen, and they were the same people they had always been. Instead of sitting in the space next to Beca, she decided to sit opposite and observe the younger girl. It seemed every time Chloe came face to face with Beca, she was surprised.

Chloe's eyes trailed over her friends face. She didn't notice at the party what she was noticing now. The way her jawline and cheekbones were more prominent. The way her eyes seemed more sunken. The delicate way in which she carried herself. Chloe was losing her friend, and all she could do was watch as she retreated deep into her walls, her security.

"Okay I'm going to talk and you're not gonna interrupt okay? I don't want to lose my nerve" Chloe nodded, urging her to continue. Beca took a deep breath, running her trembling hands through her brown tresses before taking Chloe's hands

"I can't tell you the full story. The full story is cruel and it's something that shouldn't be shared until the right time. God Chloe I want to tell you everything so bad, and I know it's stupid. That secrets are never good. But this time I need to get through this myself." Beca watched the confusion on Chloe's face turn to worry. Before the redhead could speak, Beca quickly cut in. "I just need you to know that I'm okay. That I'm going to have bad days, but I'm okay. Do you trust me?" there it was. The question that decided where this night would lead. Beca waited for 2 agonising minutes before Chloe nodded.

"I trust you." Beca sighed, feeling tension release from her body.

"Thank you… that honestly means everything to Me." the redhead smiled slightly, revelling in the 'big-softie' Beca.

"Also I err… I have something to show you." Grabbing her guitar case and pulling her guitar out, Beca suddenly felt uncomfortable. She had never shared such an intimate part of her life. Her mother had taught her how to play the guitar, as well as various other instruments. Since she had passed, Beca rarely played. But tonight was an exception. Clearing her through and positioning her fingers, she began to strum softly whilst looking into Chloe's eyes.

 _When, when we came home  
Worn to the bones  
I told myself, "This could get rough"  
And when, when I was off, which happened a lot  
you came to me and said, "That's enough"_

Beca watched as Chloe's eyes widened as she realised that this song was about everything they had done, every interaction, every moment. The lyrics screamed so fiercely into her heart she had trouble catching her breath.

 _Oh I know that this love is pain  
But we can't cut it from out these veins, no_

 _So I'll hit the lights and you lock the doors  
we ain't leaving this room 'til we bust the mould  
don't walk away, don't roll your eyes  
They say love is pain, well darling, let's hurt tonight_

The brunette's voice rang strong and clear, shocking the senior at how powerful it truly was. Chloe could feel tears threatening to spill from the corners of her eyes.

 _When, when you came home  
Worn to the bones  
I told myself, "this could be rough"_

 _Oh, I know you're feeling insane  
Tell me something that I can explain, oh_

 _I'll hit the lights and you lock the doors  
Tell me all of the things that you couldn't before  
Don't walk away, don't roll your eyes  
They say love is pain, well darling, let's hurt tonight  
If this love is pain, well darling, let's hurt, oh tonight_

 _So you hit the lights and I'll lock the doors  
Let's say all of the things that we couldn't before  
Won't walk away, won't roll my eyes  
They say love is pain, well darling, let's hurt tonight  
If this love is pain, then honey let's love tonight_

Beca had barely finished the last lyric before Chloe crashed their lips together in a passionate kiss. It was intense and filled with every emotion possible – fear, love, happiness, and sadness, all woven together – and the only thing Beca could think of was a book quote that had stuck with her anytime she was here.

" _When we consider things like the stars, our affairs hardly seem to matter."_

Beca chuckled internally. _Oh,_ she thought, _the stars have nothing on this girl._

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

 _ **A/N – love you all, awesome nerds.**_


	13. Chapter 13

_**So I just want to take a moment to appreciate these super amazing people; Rubiksmaniac, UnfamiliarSky, FightSong, kissedbyarose13, RJRMovieFan, Hetwaszoietsals, Kate203457 and Emz241. You guys have really kept me motivated throughout this with your kind words and questions. These last couple of days have been hard. But reading your comments have really made me feel like I'm doing something, however small, good with my life.**_

 _ **Also, to anyone who has simply read, followed or favourited this story… this means the world to me too. You're all amazing.**_

"Beca please, come in." Dr. Carson moved from the door to allow the young girl to walk in. it had been a month since she had started her treatment, already having had two chemotherapy sessions. The effects could be seen immediately. Beca's skin had become sallow, her hair limp. Her collarbone protruded from under her shirt, cheekbones sharp against her skin.

The limp, which had started off subtle and barely noticeable, had made its appearance, each step causing a hiss of pain or a grimace to escape her. It looked like she was almost dragging her leg behind her. As Beca lowered herself into the chair, Dr. Carson noted he delicately she held herself, the snarky guarded girl the young doctor had come to know being nowhere in sight.

"So, let's cut to the chase. How are you feeling?" Beca scoffed, the question tickling the dark humour she had somehow accumulated over the past couple of weeks.

"Oh I'm feeling just fantastic. You know, considering I'm being pumped full of drugs that are just delaying the inevitable." The DJ rolled her eyes, ignoring the nausea that followed it. Dr. Carson, however, was not fazed in the slightest.

"And what is the inevitable, Beca?" this time Beca didn't smile. Didn't smirk. _What is the inevitable?_ She didn't know how to answer. Having come to terms with the constant thoughts of her death and the denial that Luke had over it every time she brought it up, she wasn't prepared to _not_ have to argue about what the future may or may not hold.

"Would you like to know what I think?" the doctor ploughed on, taking advantage of the brunettes dumbstruck state. "I think, in your case there is no inevitability. In any case really. Despite you having cancer, and the cancer dictating a lot of your actions and life choices, ultimately it's you who decides how this ends. You can chose to give up, to let this disease take hold of every aspect of your life and tear it apart. Or you can fight back; change your "this is killing me" to "this is making me stronger". You can fight this Beca, you can destroy this thing and you will recover. And I'm going to tell you something now. I think recovery from anything is honestly the most badass thing a person can do."

Beca was shocked. She had never heard a doctor talk so passionately about surviving, her mothers' doctors always looking at what could go wrong. But here was Dr. Carson, reassuring so fervently that her live was worth living.

"Okay." Beca nodded. Dr. Carson smiled and leaned back in her chair.

"Okay, so I'll ask again. How are you feeling?" Beca pondered the question for a minute before answering.

"Honestly I feel like shit. Everything hurts. And I feel so tired all the time." She was never good at being honest with herself about her feelings, so talking about them with other people was some serious new territory.

"That's understandable. The administration of your chemotherapy typically gives you these side effects. Because it's going directly into your bloodstream, your body as a whole will feel some form of effect, hence the overall tiredness and pain. It's our job to minimalize that." Beca nodded, feeling comfort in the words.

"How will I know if the chemo is working? Will my leg stop hurting?"

"Unfortunately, no. if anything the pain will worsen," Beca frowned slightly. "Because of the nature of your cancer, the chemotherapy will try to stop cell regrowth and destroy the cells that are causing the disease. But this means that healthy cells around the area will more than likely be damaged too. Nerves, muscle and cartilage are the most common aspects damaged, but it varies from person to person. After all this has finished, physiotherapy can be arranged to… well, get you back on your feet." Dr. Carson smiled as Beca chuckled slightly, the irony not lost on her.

"So what can I do in the meantime Doc? Do I have to deal with this until it's gone or…" Beca trailed off, feeling the pain in her knee spike at the thought.

"I can prescribe Acetaminophen to you, but you have to be careful Beca. Standing too long and walking around unaided as much as you have can worsen your symptoms. I'm also going to provide a knee brace and crutches for when you do walk around." Beca's heart sank, knowing that if anyone saw her walking around on crutches would send up dozens of red flags.

"I really don't think that's necessary-"she hadn't gotten a full sentence in before she was cut off.

"This is non-negotiable Beca. I'm sorry, but whether you like it or not, this is going to help." Dr. Carson walked out of the room, presumable to collect the aforementioned items. Beca sat quietly, looking around the room. There were framed photos on the wall along with certificates displaying various qualifications. The majority of the photos were of just her, however there were a couple that showed a group of people, arms slung over each other in a mountainous area. Upon closer inspection, Beca noticed that Dr. Carson was stood in the middle, smiling broadly. She was wearing sunglasses, a tank top and shorts that displayed – _wait,_ Beca's eyes widened. _Dr. Carson has a-_

"I think this is the right size." Beca snapped her eyes away from the picture to face the doctor. The brunette quickly scanned her, trying to find anything that would suggest the picture was true. She noticed that Dr. Carson only wore loose fitting trousers and simple shoes. As she crouched down to fit the brace, Beca observed how the young doctor pushed her left leg behind her, as if it couldn't move on its own. Everything confirmed it.

"Beca?" the DJ snapped out of her daze. The doctor was looking at her expectantly.

"What?"

"I said would you prefer it on top or under your pants?" Beca glanced at the contraption; metal and plastic that looked like it would dominate half her leg.

"Umm… over will be okay." Dr. Carson nodded and started to fit the brace. Beca was right. The bottom of it reached about 3 inches above her ankle and the top sat about 2 inches below the top of her thigh. She couldn't lie, when the doctor was fitting the top she couldn't help feel butterflies erupt in her stomach when her hands brushed the younger girls' inner thighs. This quickly dissipated when the brace was tightened, causing Beca to yelp in pain.

"I'm sorry… I don't know my own strength sometimes." The brace was loosened. Hazel eyes met blue eyes as Beca smiled, gratitude evident.

"Thank you." The doctor nodded as she stood back up, admiring her work. Satisfied, she grabbed the crutches from behind her and handed them to Beca.

"Okay, these take a little getting used to, but I'm sure you'll pick it up quickly. Do you want to give them a go?" Beca agreed, putting her hands through the holes and grasping the handles. Standing up, the doctor had to adjust the height. Everyone forgets just how small Beca is.

"Right, so when you take a step forward on your right leg, you move the crutches too. Imagine you're stepping with three legs instead of one."

Beca took a deep breath. _How hard could this be?_ The younger girl stepped forward with her right leg, making sure to move the crutches as well. Once she settled her weight, she moved her left leg forward, feeling the relief of the support. All was going to plan, her confidence building until she felt her left foot catch on the crutch. Her right leg, unprepared for the full weight of her body, crumpled and she pitched forward, watching the floor rise up too fast to meet her. Before she hit the floor, she squeezed her eyes closed tightly. The impact didn't come.

Opening her eyes slightly, she saw Dr. Carson gripping her waist and shoulders, holding her steadily above the ground. Concern twisted her features.

"Are you okay? Can you stand?" Beca nodded, getting her feet under her. Once she had her balance, and successfully fought the nausea rising in her stomach, she slumped back down in her chair. The doctor sat opposite her, looking at her with apprehension.

Beca was thoroughly embarrassed. The confidence she had felt when the brace was attached – the small amount of relief it gave her – had quickly disappeared, replaced with shame and defeat. She was retreating into herself, trying to become as small as possible when a warmth materialised on her hand. She glanced up, eyes darting from the hand atop hers to the hazel eyes that were boring into her.

"It's okay, not everyone gets it first time. Small steps right?" a smile escaped the younger brunette, the pun bringing her mood back up. "I'll get your prescription ready. Luke is collecting you?" Beca nodded, remembering how she told the doctor who had brought her here. "Okay, I'll get everything ready for you. Hang tight for a second, I'll be back."

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Luke was scrolling through Instagram when Beca came out of the room, sporting a brace and crutches. The sight was heart breaking, but he managed to smile all the same.

"Hey! How did it go?" Beca rolled her eyes as she slowly walked over to where the Brit was sat. He ran over to relieve her of the backpack she had slung over one shoulder. She shot him a grateful smile.

"It went okay. I just wanna go home now." Luke nodded. They started making their way down the hall towards the exit. As slow as they were walking, Beca was still out of breathe. The effort combined with the pain was something else.

"Do you want me to get a wheelchair? I see a couple back there-"

"No. It's okay, I can do it." They continued walking, the brace only giving her slight relief. Luke watched in concern as Beca's face paled and her breathing got more laboured.

"Becs seriously there's a wheelchair stop down the hall-"again he was cut off, this time by an increasingly frustrated outburst.

"For fuck sake Luke, I'm pretty sure I can walk by myself. Drop it already." The words silenced the blonde, knowing the last thing Beca wanted was pity. The rest of the walk was silent, save for Beca's heavy breathing.

When they made it to the car, Beca had to stop. She was on the verge of passing out, her head swimming and spots clouding her vision. She leaned her arms and head against the window frame, not making any attempt to get in. there was sweat beading on her brow, and exhaustion was settling in her bones.

"Let me put your crutches in the trunk, and then I'll help you in." to tired to argue, Beca handed over her crutches, bracing herself against the car to stop herself from falling over. Not a minute after, Luke was back, snaking his arm around the younger girl's waist to support her. He proceeded to open to door, feeling Beca's full weight against his arm as he lowered her into the passenger seat. Just like before, he lifted her legs into the car, seeing the effort she was using to try and do it herself. Once she was settled, Luke ran around to the driver's side, starting the car and reversing out of the parking lot. The whole time, Beca just stared, feeling appreciation warming her heart.

"Thank you Luke." The blonde just nodded. It was all the acknowledgement she needed.

They drove silently, save for the radio in the background, back to Barden until Beca's phone started ringing, without looking at the caller ID, she answered.

"Hello?" she didn't even attempt to hide the fatigue in her voice.

" _Hey you!"_ Beca couldn't even hide the smile that graced her lips.

"Hey Chlo."

" _How's my favourite little DJ doing?"_

"Hey! I'm not little!" Luke laughed at the exasperation in the brunette's voice.

" _Small, petite, tiny, whatever floats your boat Becs. I didn't call to insult your height though."_

Beca's eyebrow quirked up, despite Chloe not being able to see it.

"So why did you call Beale?"

" _I was wondering if you're doing anything right now. I wanted to take you for something to eat. At that diner outside campus?"_ Beca thought for a minute, wondering what Chloe would say seeing her like this. Dressed in sweatpants and Luke's hoodie, a big ass brace on her leg and hobbling along on crutches. Remembering their conversation the night before, Beca thought it would be better than not seeing her at all.

" _You still there?"_

"Yeah sorry. That sounds good."

" _Awes! I'll see you in 10 minutes?"_

"Sure thing Beale. Bye." Beca ended the call and turned to match Luke's gaze. The brunette just smirked slightly.

"Change of plan Luke."

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

 _ **A/N – I love you all, awesome nerds.**_


	14. Chapter 14

_**So this isn't the way I intended this story to go. And please don't hate Chloe, there are reasons that it's going down the way it is.**_

 _ **Also, please don't hate me. This was a hard chapter to write. I've been struggling for inspiration, but I know I have people backing me all the way, so for them I say thank you. You mean a lot to me – more than you probably know.**_

 _ **What are you guys thinking so far? I can't believe we are already 14 chapters in!**_

Beca could feel the anticipation building in her stomach. Since being diagnosed with cancer, she had been on an emotional roller coaster. There were days where she was willing to admit it; to come to terms with the way her life had been turned upside down in the blink of an eye. And other days – the days where she was unable to get out of bed from the pain – she did everything she could to convince herself that this wasn't happening.

The last week had been different. Between Luke's encouraging words and her doctor's assertiveness, she could begin to grasp her dignity and compose herself – more for everyone around her than herself. She knew she had to be strong. And that could only happen if the truth was set free.

"Are you sure about this Beca?" Luke glanced over. The brunette was lost in thought, clearly not realising they had arrived. She turned slowly to face the station manager, a small smile on her face. They had talked about it at the start of the journey, but he was just making sure that she didn't want to back out – it was a big step for anyone, but for Beca, it meant everything.

"I need to do this, I – I think it will make it easier for everyone." Luke nodded slowly. It was now or never.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Chloe was already at the diner. She was there before Beca had even confirmed it, hopeful that the brunette would say yes. After last night, she felt like they had to talk about what they truly wanted, instead of just making out and pretending said activities never happened. Chloe knew what she wanted – everyone knew she had liked Beca since the activities fair. But it was whether Beca reciprocated those feelings that made it all worth it.

She had chosen a seat near the window, opposite the doors so she could see Beca walk in. it had been 15 minutes since she had called her, and so far there had been so sign of the snarky brunette. Chloe was just starting to wonder if she would ever show when movement in the parking lot caught her eye.

Luke was getting out of his car and walking round to the trunk, with Beca was still sat in the passenger seat. Chloe couldn't help but smile, her previous worries turning to dust. She was too busy watching the brunette to see what Luke was getting out of the trunk until he was stood in front of the girl. He balanced the crutches against the car and opened the passenger side door. Chloe watched, intrigued as he started talking to Beca. Her curiosity turned quickly from confusion to worry as Luke leaned into the car, tucking his arms under her shoulders and lifting the small brunette out. She seemed unsteady on her feet, leaning on Luke until she got the crutches under her. The redhead watched as Beca smiled graciously at Luke, before starting the slow walk to the entrance of the diner. Luke's hand never left her back, gently urging her on. It was only then that Chloe clocked the massive metal contraption encasing Beca's petite leg. It almost took up the whole leg, and only some parts of her sweatpants were visible.

Chloe couldn't believe what she was seeing. The girl that had sung to her, swept her off her feet was now struggling to stand on her own. Beca had tried explaining what she was going through was tough and cruel, but this seemed bordering agonising.

The bell on the entrance door chimed, alerting Chloe of Luke and Beca's entrance. She quickly composed herself, trying to pretend that she hadn't been watching the two from the window.

"Hey Chlo." The seniors head shot up at the voice. Beca was lowering herself into the booth opposite her, moving the crutches to lean next to the window. Luke sidled in next to her, an anxious look on his face. Chloe tried her best to smile.

"Hey Becs." Her voice didn't sound her own. Anyone with half a brain could tell it was oozing fake happiness.

"What are we ordering then?" Beca picked up the menu, knowing full well she wasn't going to order anything. Even the thought of food was making her nauseous. Chloe just stared, feeling the elephant in the room rearing its head.

"Beca-"

"You know what? I think I might just get a smoothie." The brunette placed her menu back on the rack, trying the maintain control of the situation. "What are you getting Chlo?" Beca made eye contact with the redhead, watching frustration building in her cerulean blue eyes.

"Beca, what's going on?" a flicker of fear passed through the DJ's face, but was quickly replaced by a neutral expression. She turned to Luke.

"Luke, what are having? A burger is my guess." The blonde mumbled something about eating earlier, trying to avoid eye contact with both women. He could feel the tension growing by the second. And he wasn't prepared to get in the way.

"Okay, looks like it's just me and you then." Beca waved the waitress over. This was completely out of character for her – even Luke knew that. Beca would never voluntarily draw attention to herself like this.

"Becs I really need to talk-"

"Hi! are you ready to order?" the chirpy waitress only succeeded in annoying the redhead more.

"No we need more time. Thank you." Chloe focused her attention back onto Beca, who was trying the keep her face straight. The waitress just smiled and nodded. She was turning to leave when Beca spoke up again.

"No really it's okay. You said you decided what you wanted." The waitress turned back, a look of confusion crossing her face before her smile returned.

"I need more time. I haven't decided yet."

"Chloe, you already said you're ready let's just order." The redhead's frustrations were beginning to boil over – there was only so much she could take. The waitress was frowning now, trying to decide whether to stay or go. Luke was shrinking in his seat, knowing this could only go in one direction.

"Beca please –"

"It's okay, I think we're ready –"

"BECA FOR FUCK SAKE, SHUT UP!" the café was instantly silenced by Chloe's outburst. Heads turned in their direction, and the waitress stood awkwardly to the side, unsure of what to do. Beca was stunned too, never hearing Chloe lose her temper like this before.

Chloe's face was red, her brows furrowed and her mouth set in a firm line. She knew she was being stared at, but right now she didn't care. She turned to the waitress, who visibly flinched.

"You can go. We're not ordering yet." She just nodded and walked off. The chatter of the café slowly increased again as Chloe and Beca stared at each other. Chloe was the one to break the silence.

"What the hell is going on with you Beca?" she hissed. Beca stumbled over her words, trying to find a way to explain without truly saying. She turned to Luke, who was finding the cuff of his sweater incredibly interesting.

"Luke, will you give us a minute?" he made eye contact with Beca, and Chloe watched as the seemed to have a whole conversation with subtle movements of their face. In the end, he just sighed.

"Sure, I'll wait in the car." The blonde made his way out of the café. Once he had left, Chloe turned her full attention back to Beca.

"So are you going to start explaining or what? This has gone on long enough Beca. One minute you say you're fine and the next you're walking in here on crutches." Beca started to speak but was cut off swiftly. "And don't give me some bullshit excuse. I want the truth." Chloe levelled the brunette with a glare that could make hell freeze over. It should have made Beca scared, but instead made her angry.

"What the hell Chloe? You can't just demand the truth! I'm not obliged to share _anything_ with you! Last night I asked you to trust me, and you said you did. Why are you backing out now?" Beca ran her hand through her hair, trying to relieve the pressure that was building behind her eyes.

"How can I trust you if you give me _nothing_ to trust you with? How can I trust you if you're just going to keep lying to me?!" Chloe banged her hands on the table, months of worry and frustration pouring out of her.

"I'm not lying to you Chloe!" Beca was shouting now, drawing the attention of the diner back to her once more. Her voice softened slightly. "I've never lied to you. Nor would I ever." Chloe wasn't sure what to believe now. Beca looked so broken now that her mask had fallen, but Chloe knew deep down there was something more.

"Well whatever you're doing, I don't want any part of it. I'm done with… whatever this is Beca. When you decide I'm actually worth your honesty, you know where I am." Chloe stood, leaving a dumbfounded Beca in her wake. She was too stunned to speak as the redhead made her exit. Beca shook her head before pulling herself out of the booth and walking after the redhead as fast as her leg would allow. _I don't want any part of it._ The words circled Beca's brain, making her heart thump and hands shake. _I'm going to lose Chloe. It's all my fault._ Tears were starting to form in her eyes but all she could focus on was running – or more limping – after Chloe. Once Beca had exited the diner, she glanced around, trying to catch a glimpse of flaming red hair. Beca was losing hope until she spotted her walking down towards the lake.

"Chloe wait!" Beca took off after her, pushing away the deep pain in her leg and the spots collating at the edge of her vision. The redhead didn't slow up, nearing the edge of the lake.

"Chloe stop, please!" still no response.

"Chloe, please just –"the redhead whipped around, startling Beca. Tears were streaming down Chloe's face, and she was visibly shaking, as if trying to reign in her anger.

"What Beca? What more have you possibly got to say?" Chloe scoffed. "Well it's not like you're actually going to _say_ anything are you? More excuses?" Beca's tears were flowing freely, and Chloe couldn't help feeling guilty. But it was completely overshadowed by her rage.

"It was never supposed to go like this… god, I don't know what to say." Beca looked at her shoes, the fire in her leg spreading to her lower back and hips.

"Then save me the trouble, and leave me alone." Chloe turned again, ready to walk off again when Beca grabbed her hand.

"Chloe just try and let me explain –"Chloe yanked her hand away, making Beca stumble slightly.

"Go away Beca." She turned again and started walking. _Come on Mitchell, just tell her for fuck's sake! Don't let her leave!_

"Please just wait –"

"Get the fuck away from me!" _it's now or never._

"I HAVE CANCER!" Chloe stopped. The air was thick with the words that had just escaped Beca's mouth – the same ones she had never intended to surface in the presence of Chloe. There was nothing but silence, save for the breeze rustling the tree's that surrounded them.

Chloe turned slowly, an unreadable expression on her face. "What?"

Beca sighed. "I have cancer. I found out that day I went to the hospital. It's in my leg and I'm being treated for it." There was nothing more Beca could say. She was mentally exhausted, and the pain in her leg was impossible to ignore now.

"But… I don't… this is a joke right?" Beca recoiled slightly, looking for something – anything in Chloe's face. But there was nothing.

"Why would I fucking joke about this? You're basically saying… what, that you think I'm lying?" she tried to control the venom in her voice, but it was as if Chloe was playing this whole situation down to a sick joke.

"I don't know what to believe! It can't be true!" a sob escaped Chloe, both girls now openly crying. Her voice softened slightly. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"Seriously Chloe? That's all you can think of right now? Why I didn't tell you?! Did you not stop to think that maybe I knew this is how you would react?" Beca was crying uncontrollably now, fearing that not only had she lost her best friend, but perhaps what they could have been in the future.

Chloe ran her hands through her hair, trying to stall her emotions. "I can't do this right now… I'm sorry, I just can't…" and with that she turned and ran. But this time Beca didn't even try to stop her.

Sob after sob escaped her lips as her leg finally gave way. She crashed to the floor, her knee taking the full impact as she held her head in her hands. The pain, nausea and headache were too much for her as she vomited on the grass next to her. Acrid bile burned her throat as she emptied the minimal content of her stomach.

 _This is all my fault. I've lost my best friend. I have no one._

It was all too much. She fell, sideways to the floor, feeling the sobs racking her body. The spots were forming clouds over her vision, pulling her into a darkness she wasn't sure she craved or feared. The last thing she was awake of before she blacked out was Luke's voice and strong arms wrapping around her.

 _ **A/N – don't hate Chloe! Or me…**_


	15. Chapter 15

_**Hey aca-awesome, lovely people of the internet. I bring you another chapter. I must say, the response I got for the last chapter was really… wow. Thank you. I love all of you, and your kind words warmed my heart tenfold.**_

 _ **Right so, before any confusion sets in, I must explain this. Mr. Mitchell (aka Beca's dad) is not present in any way during this story. Anddd at some point we did a time hop – regionals have already happened and we are on to the semi-finals.**_

 _ **This chapter is kinda short, but with Christmas (and my birthday!) coming up, everything has been a little hectic! Anyhow, I love you all, and I hope you enjoy.**_

Chloe burst through the doors of her and Aubrey's shared apartment, the tears she had only just managed to keep at bay making an appearance. She threw her coat and bag into the closet next to the door with more force then necessary. But it seemed appropriate in this scenario; a perfect way to express how angry she was.

 _She has cancer._ The words were echoing around in her head, bouncing off every ounce of sanity and cracking it in half. Chloe couldn't tell what she was more angered about; the fact that her best friend, the most talented person Chloe had ever met, had such a deadly condition or the fact that Beca hadn't even bothered to tell her. Each scenario just brought another wave of frustration to the redhead.

"Chloe?" _shit_ she thought. She hadn't expected her blonde roommate to be home during the day. Chloe knew she had a class that wasn't due to finish for another hour. Composing herself – wiping away lingering tears – she walked deeper into the apartment. Aubrey was sat at the kitchen island, a coffee in one hand and a book in the other.

"Hey Bree." As much as Chloe tried, she couldn't clear the emotions from her voice. Aubrey's eyes narrowed, seeing that her friend was upset.

"Are you okay?" the blonde's eyes followed the redhead as she opened the fridge, pulling out a bottle of water. The strained look on Chloe's face told Aubrey everything she needed to know, but was waiting for her to talk. Placing her book down, she gave Chloe her full attention.

"I didn't think you'd be home till later." Chloe was purposely avoiding the subject and all forms of eye contact. She knew if she looked into the curious green orbs, she would break.

"My class got cut short because my professor's daughter was taken ill. Chloe, what's going on?" Chloe moved to sit on the stool next to her, still not making eye contact.

"I'm just tired I suppose."

"Try again." Aubrey raised her eyebrows.

"Seriously Bree, I'm okay I just –"

"Chloe, you better start talking or so help me I will –"

"Beca has cancer." Aubrey shut her mouth, her eyes widening. Of course, this was not new information, and Aubrey had been getting regular updates from Luke as to the condition of the small brunette. When regionals had come around and the Bella's had performed, she had kept an eye on Beca, making sure she wasn't on the verge of passing out or pushing her leg too hard. Of course, Beca didn't know this. She was still challenging Aubrey whenever she turned up to practise, questioning the songs and dancing as if they were the worst form of torture. But despite what everyone thought, Aubrey was more than happy with this dynamic, knowing as long as Beca was still her snarky self, she was doing okay.

"I know." Chloe's head lifted from where it hung on her chest. Her eyes narrowed.

"What do you mean you know? Did you just hear what I said? Beca has cancer, Bree, and she didn't even tell me!" it was then Aubrey knew where the anger was coming from.

"Chlo I know she has cancer. I – I overheard her talking to Luke about it. She doesn't know that I know. But I've known for a while." The blonde could see the rage building in the redhead.

"Chloe, don't get mad at her. I think –"

"WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME?!" Aubrey winced as if she had been slapped. Never had she heard Chloe raise her voice like she was now. It took a lot to make her angry, but this was a whole new level.

"Chloe please don't –"

"DON'T WHAT AUBREY? WHAT AM I NOT SUPPOSED TO DO KNOWING ONE OF MY BEST FRIEND'S HAS FUCKING CANCER?!" Chloe was up and pacing now, her hands in her hair. Aubrey sighed, knowing she was going to have to take the stern approach. She readied herself, forming the sentences she knew were going to bring to light some home truths.

"CHLOE! Sit your stubborn ass down and LISTEN TO ME!" the shrill voice brought Chloe out of her rant. She looked at Aubrey, who had a calm face but demanding stance. This was the generals' daughter coming out of her shell, and Chloe knew not to disobey her. Reluctantly, the redhead sat back down on the stool, eyes darting around the room. Aubrey followed suit, sitting opposite her.

"Chloe look at me." The redhead did. Aubrey could see the defeat behind the tears that were collecting at the edges.

"I need to listen to me now. You're not going to like what I'm going to say, but this is the truth and you really need to hear it." Chloe nodded, mentally preparing herself.

"Okay. So I'm going to assume the way you have been ranting and raving is also how you reacted to Beca?" Chloe wanted to argue, but she couldn't deny it. This is exactly how she reacted. She nodded.

"Well then there is your first mistake." Chloe's head shot up, ready to argue, but Aubrey was too quick.

"Think about this from Beca's perspective now. She has a life threatening illness – one that could end many different ways. She's scared and lonely but she feels that she can do this herself. We should count our lucky stars she has at least let Luke help her out, however reluctantly. But think about it Chlo," Aubrey reaches over and takes Chloe's hands, which are trembling slightly. "She didn't open up to anyone when she was healthy – you being the only exception. Did you really think she would open up about this?" the blonde lets the question linger in the air, the weight of it settling around them.

"I know what you're saying Bree, but I'm supposed to be her best friend. I'm –"

"Well maybe that's it then." Chloe looked at her questioningly, urging her to continue.

"Perhaps she thinks… I don't know, that she's protecting you? Saving you the – the pain of it." Aubrey's voice broke slightly, emotion overcoming her. Chloe squeezed her hands, a way of saying it was okay.

Chloe thought about it. Beca was incredibly closed off. It had taken late nights and soft music for the redhead to get Beca to talk about her family; how her mother had died and father had left shortly after, forcing her to live with her grandparents. How she was bullied in high school for being quiet and awkward in social situations, which pushed her to the alternative look she always sports. Chloe remembers that night fondly.

" _Becs?"_

" _Yeah?"_

" _Why do you wear so much eyeliner?" she could feel the younger girl stiffen next to her. They were laying on the brunette's bed, in their signature position. They were playing with each other's fingers as soft music from Beca's laptop floated through the pitch black room. It was 1am, but sleep was not making its appearance._

" _What brought this on Beale?" Chloe could hear the message behind the words. She didn't want to talk about it. The redhead knew when to drop a subject._

" _I was just wondering is all. I think you look beautiful with and without it." The fell into an easy silence once again. Chloe watched Beca's nimble fingers play with her own, content to fall asleep like this when she heard Beca's voice sound softly._

" _It helped me through high school." Chloe didn't pry – wanting the girl to talk in her own time. Instead she interlaced their fingers, squeezing encouragingly._

" _When I started high school, I didn't really hang around with people. I just felt too awkward. When people tried talking to me, I didn't know what to say. I just couldn't form words. Everyone thought I was a bit weird. When word got around about the 'awkward girl', people started to come up to me just to taunt me – to try and get me to speak. But I just couldn't. I had no friends, but I found solace in my music. I wore headphones around school, so people started labelling me the 'alt-girl'. It hurt, but I humoured them. I started wearing dark clothes, I pierced my ears and got tattoos and I wore dark make-up. I started pretending like I didn't give a shit, even when their words hurt. People started to stay away when I turned into the 'alt-girl who decked the quarterback', and then when people started to stop teasing or just talking to me, I realised that while I was pretending not to care, id build this sort of… defence, I guess? It became easier to pretend because it turned out I didn't actually care."_

 _Beca shifted under her, getting into a more comfortable position._

" _When I came to college, I knew I should start afresh. But the whole 'alt-girl' façade had become such a part of me that I knew I wouldn't be able to shake it even if I wanted to. It was just easier I guess."_

 _Chloe was stunned, knowing Beca very rarely opened up. She was at a loss for words – a very un-Chloe thing to be – so she didn't say anything at all._

" _Please say something…" Beca's voice was barely above a whisper, but it shouted the insecurities the brunette was experiencing in that moment._

" _I still think you're beautiful Beca." Chloe didn't know it, but Beca was grinning like a Cheshire cat beneath her._

" _Thank you." The comfort of silence, save for the music, enveloped them once more. Slowly, they both fell into a deep slumber, gripping each other with_ _fervency and a love that was unknown but felt whole-heartedly._

"Chloe?" Aubrey was looking at her expectantly. The redhead snapped out of her memories, feeling a new sense of purpose.

"I need to go." Chloe jumped off the stool, looking for her phone and keys when a warm hand closed around her own.

"Wait. You will see her tomorrow at the semi-finals. Talk to her after. Give yourself – and her – time to think." Chloe knew it wasn't up for discussion. Nodding, she started walking in the direction of her room, her thoughts spinning faster than he legs could cope.

 _ **A/N – I hope you guys hate Chloe a little less. Thank you Aubrey!**_


	16. Chapter 16

**So you guys are awesome. I tell you this a lot. But I honestly mean it. A couple of you kinda guessed the next instalment, but that's okay. I hope you enjoy! Again… don't hate me. Or Beca. Or Chloe. You know what? Just don't hate!**

Beca peeled her eyes open slightly, feeling sleep gluing them together. It took more effort than it should have to move her hands to wipe away the gunk from the corners of her eyes. There was no way to describe the deep ache that had settled in her body. Her head throbbed with the familiar pain that follows crying yourself to sleep. Her leg was burning; fire spreading from her ankle to her hip. Despite the discomfort, she has come to find peace with it. It reminded her that she was alive, and that while the pain was there, she was still able to feel _something._

"We have to stop meeting like this." Beca glanced up, seeing Luke perched on the end of his desk chair. The radio station had become a sort of second home to her, being the comfort she needed whenever things had become too much. Luke had docked out the couch with fluffy pillows and an oversized throw blanket for whenever Beca needed to sleep, and a constant supply of snacks because Luke knew she couldn't stomach full meals these days. He was still in the same clothes as the last time Beca had seen him, which gave her hope that perhaps she hadn't slept through the whole day and night. Sighing, she pulled herself up into a more upright position.

"What time is it?" the brunette decided to keep it simple, knowing the inevitable conversation was coming up any minute.

"It's a little after 7. You slept through takeout so eat this." He grabbed a caramel nutrition bar off his desk and handed it to Beca. She hesitated at first, but Luke was relentless when it came to her eating, so she opened it and took a bite. The gooey sweetness of the caramel mixed with the grain brought a sigh of satisfaction. She knew Luke's game – he only ever bought snacks that would boost her energy whilst being tasty – and she was deeply grateful for it.

Beca glanced up from her bar, seeing Luke staring at her with inquisitive eyes. She rolled her own and threw the wrapper at him.

"Stop looking at me like you're about to dissect me. If you've got questions, ask them." Beca levelled him with a look that said _this is your one opportunity._ They help eye contact for a good minute before Luke sighed and looked down.

"I guess I'll have to start with what happened after I left?" Beca got herself more comfortable, stretching her leg out on the couch.

"I told her." The way Luke's eyes widened could have been comical in any other situation, but in these circumstances it made her heart sink lower.

"I told her that I had cancer, and she ran. She didn't believe me. She said that I had been lying to her for so long that it either wasn't true or it was a 'joke'." Beca made quotation marks with her fingers. It all still felt like a dream.

"I don't think she meant that Beca, it is a lot to take in at first. And considering that you were both yelling at each other before hand probably didn't help." Beca mulled it over for a second. She understands that the information is a lot to take in, but she didn't expect to lose her best friend.

"She said… she said before I told her that she wanted no part in whatever this is." Beca cast her eyes to her hands, where she was picking at the quicks of her nails. It was a habit she had picked up when she was young, but had eased off going into college. Now the skin around her nails were raw.

"I don't know exactly what she's thinking, but I can imagine it's something along the lines of 'holy shit my best friend has cancer and she's been dealing with it more or less alone this whole time'. I'm sure that would make anyone frustrated. And maybe not just at you, but herself too." Luke looked pointedly at the brunette, trying to convey the message he wasn't saying out loud. Thankfully, Beca understood.

"I know I should have told her sooner, but it's just easier not to have people worrying about you all the time, you know? To not have people look at you like you're about to break." Beca's voice broke at the end, unwanted emotion creeping into her words. She looked up at Luke again.

"Do you have my headphones?" Luke knew this was the end of the conversation. He relented to the brunette, grabbing her backpack from the corner of the room and handing it to her. She dug out her phone and headphones, but before she could lose herself in the melodies, Luke spoke up again.

"You shut out everybody who could ever care about you… why is that?" Beca just stared at Luke, never being asked directly about her deflective personality.

"I shut everybody out, don't take it personally. It's just easier." Luke deflated at her words.

"It's also really lonely." Beca just shrugged and placed her headphones on. She called up the song she had been thinking about since her last chemo session. She had overheard it being played by one of the patients, and has been listening to it ever since. The soft voice of Stromae floated through her ears as she closed her eyes.

 _Mais oui on se connait bien  
T'as même voulu te faire ma mère hein?  
T'as commencé par ses seins  
Et puis du poumon à mon père, tu t'en souviens?_

 _Cancer, cancer  
Dis-moi quand c'est  
Cancer, cancer  
Qui est le prochain?  
Cancer, cancer  
Dis-moi quand c'est  
Cancer, cancer  
Qui est le prochain?_

 _Et tu aimes les petits enfants  
Décidément rien ne t'arrête toi  
Mais arrêtes de faire ton innocent  
Sur les paquets de cigarettes  
"Fumer tue", tu m'étonnes  
Mais tu m'aides._

 _Cancer, cancer  
Dis-moi quand c'est  
Cancer, cancer  
Qui est le prochain?  
Cancer, cancer  
Dis-moi quand c'est  
Cancer, cancer  
Oh cancer..._

 _Quand c'est? Quand c'est?  
Que tu cesses tes avances?  
Quand c'est? Quand c'est?  
Que tu pars en vacances? Quand c'est?  
Quand c'est? Quand c'est?  
Quand est-ce que tu y penses?  
Quand c'est? Quand c'est?  
Ça nous f'ra des vacances._

 _Cancer, cancer  
Dis-moi quand c'est  
Cancer, cancer  
Qui est le prochain?  
Cancer, cancer  
Dis-moi quand c'est  
Cancer, cancer  
Qui est le prochain?_

Beca had researched the song as soon as she had heard it. The story that was being told had fit her life to a 'T'. Regardless of it being French, the emotion had stuck with her as well as the strong yet broken voice of Stromae. Everything about the song spoke in such volumes that she couldn't help but download it.

The phone on her stomach buzzed with an incoming message. Beca opened her eyes and glanced over at Luke. He had returned to his computer, cueing up songs and choosing music to play in the upcoming hours. Satisfied that he was preoccupied, she unlocked her phone and opened the message.

 **Bella's**

 **[19:27] BlondeZilla – you all need to be at the bus at exactly 9am SHARP in your uniform. I expect you all to go to bed early so you are all prepared for tomorrow. No exceptions.**

Beca huffed and threw her phone down next to her. Trust Aubrey to be insistent about the show tomorrow. Beca knew she needed to go to deflect suspicion, but the pain in her leg as relentless. She didn't know whether she would be able to do it.

 _The pain meds._ Her eyes widened as she remembered the medication Dr. Carson had given her. Grabbing her backpack again, she started rooting through all the crap that had accumulated without her knowledge. Her hands closed around the box and she yanked it out, happy to see the pills she knew she would need. Putting them in the front pocket of her backpack, she closed her eyes, mentally preparing herself for tomorrow night.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

The footnotes were amazing. Beca was standing off to the side, staring at the boy who was leading the group. His voice and moves were unlike anything Beca had seen. She could hear Stacie in the background talking to Aubrey in an incredulous voice.

"Where did he come from?!" all Aubrey could do was shush her. That's when Fat Amy piped up.

"It's over, there's no way we can beat the footnotes _and_ the trebles."

Beca didn't say a word. She just watched the front man slide across the floor and get thrown a rag to wipe his forehead. In the movement he looked over and smirked at Beca. She raised her eyebrows, stunned by his cockiness.

After he had taken his bow, Aubrey ushered them all together. Beca pointedly looked everywhere but Chloe, but she could feel her eyes on her. When they failed at the 'hands in' movement once again, they prepared themselves. This was going to be a hard one to come back from.

As they made their way on stage, Beca was grateful for the pills she had taken. They had eased the pain in her leg to a dull ache. It was hardly noticeable, and it was the best relief she could ask for. The room was still spinning however, and the subtle nausea that seemed to linger throughout the day had increased. Beca decided to ignore it for now as Aubrey started to count them in.

 _Oh oh oh yeah_

 _I, I got a new life_

 _You would hardly recognise me, I'm so glad_

 _How could a person, like me care for you?_

Beca watched the crowd. The sound tech guy started to check his phone. The audience were starting to look around, clearly not interested. One of the judges started shaking his head. She glanced to her left to see the frontman of the footnotes doing a little jig, clearly mocking them. It was then she made a split decision. She just needed the right time.

 _Why do I bother, when you're not the one for me?_

 _Oo-hoo-hoo-oo-oo_

 _Is enough enough?_

This was the opening Beca needed. It was now or never.

 _I saw the sign, and it opened up my eyes_

 _And I am happy now living without you, I left you all alone_

 _(This time baby I'll be, bulletproof)_

Amy looked at her with the most confused expression Beca had ever seen. The brunette ignored it, ploughing through with her plan. She could see Aubrey twitching her head, confused at the interruption.

 _I saw the sign, and it opened up my eyes_

 _I saw the sign_

 _(This time baby I'll be, bulletproof)_

 _I saw the sign_

 _(Bulletproof)_

 _I saw the sign_

 _(Bulletproof)_

They moved to the position where they would transition into their next song, with Aubrey stood in front of Beca. The blonde sent a subtle glare back, and Beca knew she was in for it.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Walking off stage, Beca couldn't help feel a sense of elation. She had mixed the songs seamlessly on stage, and the audience had seemed to enjoy it. It was refreshing, diverting from the stale set that _everyone_ had come to know. She was starting to believe that maybe even the Bella's had appreciated it, judging from the excited chattering that was following behind her. But that all came crashing down in an instant.

"What the _hell,_ Beca?! Were you trying to screw us up?!" Aubrey's voice silenced everyone. They all formed a sort of circle around the senior, leaving Beca to stand on her own. It took everything for her to stand her ground.

"Are you serious?"

"News flash, this isn't the Beca Show!" the venom in Aubrey's voice was making Beca's throat feel tight. Her breathing became more erratic as she tried to defend herself.

"Okay, I'm sorry that I messed you up, but in case you hadn't noticed, everyone pretty much dozed off during our set." This seemed like the more mature approach, but Aubrey still wasn't having it.

"It's not your job to decide what we do, and when we do it. How about you ask the rest of the group how they felt about your little improvisation." Beca looked around. Everyone was looking anywhere but Beca, trying not to be the victim of Aubrey's wrath. It was killing Beca – the people who were supposed to be her friends weren't saying a single thing. So she took a leap of faith.

"Amy?" she looked as nervous as Beca felt.

"It was cool." Beca almost breathed a sigh of relief until she started talking again. "But… it did take us a bit by surprise."

Aubrey jumped back in. "yeah a lot by surprise." Amy made a face and put her fingers about an inch apart, indicating that it wasn't that big of a deal. Throughout the whole thing, Chloe hadn't said a word. She just looked around, trying to act nonchalant. This enraged Beca. Not only was Chloe ignoring her, but she wasn't even defending her against Aubrey's wrath.

It was then that Aubrey turned to Chloe and spoke the words that put the icing on the cake.

"I told you she wasn't a Bella." The words didn't sound new. The conversation sounded worn and familiar, and from the look on Chloe's face, something that Beca was never supposed to hear. This time Chloe spoke up.

"Aubrey don't –"

"No, that's okay," Beca tried to put as much malice into her voice as possible. "You don't have to pretend like you're allowed a say in the group, right?" from the look on Chloe's face, Beca could see she had struck a nerve.

"Your attitude sucks, you're a grade 'A' pain in my ass, and I know you're hooking up with Jesse." Aubrey knew, deep down she was going too far. She could see the brunettes face paling, and her demeanour changing so she was standing predominantly on her left leg. But Aubrey couldn't stop.

"Whoa Aubrey, calm down. We are not hooking up –"Beca didn't know that Jesse was there, but his comments were not something she wanted to hear right now.

"Jesus Christ! That's perfect, of course you're here right now. I don't need your _help_ okay? Can you back off?!" the hurt look on Jesse's face sent guilt through the brunette, but the rage overshadowed any other feeling. She could still feel her throat constricting.

Benji rounded the corner, telling the trebles they were on. Beca took this opportunity. Turning back to the Bella's she started walking backwards.

"If this is what I get for trying…" with that, she walked away, leaving the stunned Bella's in her wake. Before she left, she grabbed her phone which was sitting on top of her jacket, knowing she'd probably have to call Luke for a ride. Beca didn't want to leave. She had really come to like those girls, but clearly it was all fake. None of them had come after her. The only person that cared enough was Benji, who was calling to her – telling her to wait. But she didn't slow her pace until she was outside the building, breathing in the night air. Her throat was tight, and she was struggling for breath, but she carried on walking, putting enough distance between her and the girls who had destroyed her life.

Hot tears started brewing at the corners of her eyes, put she wiped them away furiously. She was not going to cry tonight.

There were few people walking the streets at this time of night, but those who were out were looking at her oddly, clearly confused at her choice of clothing. Beca needed to get away from everyone, preferably somewhere with a seat. Her vision was starting to go blurry as the pain in her leg reached a crescendo. The drugs had clearly worn off.

When she reached the next lamppost, she stopped and leaned against it. She couldn't catch her breath, and it felt like her whole body was on fire. Resting her head against the cool metal, she brought up Luke's number and sent a quick text off, knowing that's all she could muster. Squeezing her eyes shut, she tried to quell the nausea that was rising.

"Are you alright miss?" Beca opened her eyes to see an elderly man with a kind face staring at her, concern etched into his features. She was going to reply, saying she was okay and to just move along, when vomit rose into her throat. Beca quickly turned away and aimed it into the bushes. The nutrition bar she had had at breakfast made its appearance, but under the street lamp she could see something more.

Deep crimson blood mingled with the bile. She could feel remnants of it dribbling down her chin, and more pushing its way up. She could feel the man's hand on her lower back, rubbing soothing circles. Pushing herself back up, she moved her hand to wipe her chin and face the man. They made eye contact for a brief second as the brunette opened her mouth to speak, but all of her energy had been zapped out of her.

The floor made its way up to greet her. The man that had been rubbing her back was now screaming for someone to call an ambulance. It all seemed hazy, like she was underwater. As hard as she tried to keep her eyes open, she couldn't. The warm embrace of darkness smothered her once again.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Luke was watching TV in his apartment when the text came through. He didn't read it at first, deciding that if it was urgent they would call. Curiosity got the better of him however, when he stuck the spoon he was using for his ice-cream in his mouth and set the pot down and reached for his phone. When he read the text, his jaw went slack, causing the spoon to fall to the floor. He raced to his bedroom, throwing on a pair of sweatpants, a hoodie and his shoes before grabbing his keys and slamming the door, the TV still blaring.

His heart was beating frantically as he turned the ignition of his car. He remembered Beca telling him she the semi-finals tonight. And that she would take it easy. He re-read the text before shooting out of the car park and into the night.

 **[21:24] Beca – something's wrong. Please help**

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

 _ **A/N – I love you all aca-nerds.**_


	17. The Interlude

Chloe watched Beca from the corner of her eye before they were due to perform. The younger girl seemed placid, seemingly comfortable in the high heels and uniform. But there was a vacant look about her face. It was like she was high - a thought that unnerved Chloe to no end. If the pain was that bad that she was resulting to some kind of drug, why was she continuing to perform? _Because she doesn't want people to know, idiot._

Chloe knew she had to wait, at least until the end of the performance to talk to the brunette. Beca still believed that Chloe was angry, and she felt that they needed the stress of the performance out of the way before they could have a civil conversation.

The footnotes were killing it. The front man had come out of nowhere, shocking both audience and contestants. He seemed too young to be a part of collegiate a Capella, but apparently not.

Once they had finished, Aubrey gathered them together. The stress of the performance had taken its toll on the blonde. She had been up for the majority of the night, stressing over every detail and note of the set they had created. Chloe had heard her doing breathing exercises to keep down the stress-vomit at 3am. Aubrey was tired, and she was even more snappy than normal when this was the case. She just hoped that this would go down smoothly for the rest of the girls' sake.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Chloe raced after Aubrey, who was pushing through the girls to get to the front of the group. The redhead could feel the rage emanating off of her friend, and she prayed that Beca would hold her tongue.

As soon as Beca started talking, Chloe knew she would have to wait. Beca was still angry at her, and anything that she said would inevitably make it worse. She watched as Beca's eyes roamed around the room, looking for some kind of support. Her eyes finally landed on Chloe, and she tried to have a look of reassurance, but turned into a deep frown when Aubrey started attacking again. She could see Beca had took this completely wrong, and Chloe was starting to feel hopeless. It was only when Aubrey brought up previous conversations about Beca not being a Bella that she tried to talk.

"Aubrey don't -"

"No it's okay. You don't have to pretend like you're allowed a say in the group." The words cute Chloe to the core. She knew that Aubrey put her down all the time, heck all the girls knew. But even admitting it made it more real.

Chloe wanted - no, needed to apologise. But she couldn't. The fear of what could happen... the thought of losing Beca was rooting her to the spot, sealing her lips. And when Beca made her exit, she knew that once again, she had let her best friend down.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Once they had reached home, Chloe set about going to the brunette's dorm room. She knew she had to make things right, and this time she wasn't going to give up. She was just picking up her keys when her phone started to ring. Without looking she swiped her screen.

"Hello?"

" _Chloe?_ " She stopped. Luke's voice was on the other end, sounding broken, tired.

"Luke? Is everything..." the realisation that Luke was calling her for only one reason made her stomach drop. "Where's Beca?" Her voice broke. She knew what was coming.

" _Chloe you need to get to the hospital_." That was all she needed to hear. She got the details from Luke and sprinted down to her car. She wasn't going to leave Beca this time. Not ever again.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


	18. Chapter 18

_**If love could be objectified, not even the universe itself could compare to the love I have for you.**_

" _ **Life is a balance of holding on, and letting go… and knowing when to do which of the two."**_

Luke watched Beca's face intently. The younger girl hadn't shown any signs or consciousness. Nothing to indicate that she was okay. They had been there for 3 hours, since the elderly man had called the ambulance. The man, from which Luke had learned was called Arthur, had called Luke. He had seen the last text that the brunette had sent, and called the number, informing Luke what was happening and to meet them at the hospital.

"How's she doing son?" Luke glanced to the door where Arthur was walking in. he had two cups of coffee and a bag hanging on his arm. He looked worn and tired, but despite Luke's constant protests, the man had stayed.

"Umm… no change. The doctor said she's stable though." Luke looked back at Beca, as if to assure himself that she was still there. Still breathing steadily.

"What about… you know. The blood?" Arthur didn't want to pry, but he was genuinely concerned about the younger girl.

"They think it's just the lining of her stomach coming away slightly. Between the… the chemo and the constant throwing up, it's to be expected. They have done a couple of tests to see if there's anything else that could be causing this." Arthur could hear the uncertainty in the blonde's voice. Slowly, so as not to make him uncomfortable, the elderly man took a seat next to him.

"I don't know the full story son, and I'm not going to pry. But from what you've told me, Beca is a very strong girl. She's come this far, even performing on that leg of hers," he points to Beca's right leg, which is propped up and wrapped in a heated blanket. "I feel that this is just a bump in the road that she will be able to overcome with your support." Arthur smiled warmly at Luke, but the feelings were not reciprocated. Luke just stared down at the girl he had come to care deeply for.

"I wish it was that easy." Arthurs' smile dropped at the dejected tone of Luke's voice. Before he could pry anymore, there was a soft knock at the door. Both men turned towards the door, waiting for a nurse or doctor to come in. when no one entered, Luke called for them to come in.

The door opened slowly, revealing a very dishevelled looking Chloe. Luke was shocked at first, having called her an hour ago and only turn up now. Chloe's hair was unkempt and her eyes were bloodshot. Combined with the sweatpants and oversized hoodie, she looked like she hadn't slept in days.

The redhead looked around the room briefly, wondering who the old man was, before they landed on Beca. It felt like her world fell from under her feet. Beca was hooked up to numerous machines, each one making some form of noise, monitoring all of her vitals. Her face was pale and drawn, a waxy complexion replacing the normal embarrassed flush she would sport. Her fingers, which were normally tapping out an unknown beat or tugging the ends of her brown hair lay still by her sides.

Whatever words Chloe had prepared dissipated in her mouth. She stood there awkwardly, unsure of what to do while Luke and Arthur continued to stare. Eventually, the blonde senior broke the silence.

"Took you long enough." There was slight hint of annoyance in his tone, and Chloe had to wonder if Luke had heard about the… events that unfolded. Chloe had to remind herself that Luke had called her, and if he was mad, she would be the last person he would want to see.

She straightened her spine, composing herself. "I stopped off at Beca's dorm to grab these." She pulled her backpack off her back and pulled out Beca's sacred headphones and IPod. She figured if she was going to be in here for a while, Beca would need entertaining.

Luke's eyes softened. His face remained mostly impassive though. "Do you want to sit with her for a little while?" all Chloe could do was nod. She moved out of the way for Luke and the other man to walk out. She quickly found her words again.

"Wait!" both men turned, eyeing her curiously. "I'm sorry… I don't… do you know Beca or?" she trailed off, looking pointedly at the elderly man. He chuckled slightly.

"I'm sorry, where are my manners? I'm Arthur." He extended his hand, which Chloe took cautiously, smiling politely.

"He's the one that found Beca." Chloe's smile faltered slightly, feeling the weight of the words.

"Well," her voice caught in her throat as she tried to swallow the lump that had formed there. "Thank you, Arthur." The Elderly man smiled and nodded, before turning to Luke.

"I would hope that you'll keep me updated son. You've got my number. Just a text every now and then." The two men walked out, leaving Chloe with the sleeping girl. Tentatively, she pulled up a chair, careful not to make too much noise. Once she was settled, she took Beca's hand. It was cold to the touch, the knuckles standing out against her taut skin. The evidence of stress and suffering was evident in everything that made Beca the person she was. Guilt stabbed at Chloe's heart while she silently promised herself that she would be there for her now, regardless whether the brunette wanted her or not.

"Hey Becs…" she trailed off because, what was she supposed to say? That she forgave her? That she was sorry? It would all fall to deaf ears anyway.

"I know you probably can't hear me… I'm glad you can't actually. Because otherwise this would just be embarrassing." Chloe chuckled at herself.

"But I just want to say I'm sorry Beca. For not being there. For not understanding when you told me." The redhead looked down, shame flooding her body. She gripped Beca's hand tighter.

"But I'm not going to give up on you now. I'm going to be the person you need me to be. If you're having a bad day and just need to sleep, I'll be your pillow this time. If you need to shout or scream or just cry I'll listen. I… I love you Becs," tears were intermingling with her voice now. "I just need you to come back to me."

Chloe was met with the monotonous beeping of the monitors on the wall, Beca's pale face devoid of any emotion. Whatever hope the redhead heart was quickly diminishing. She did the last thing she knew she could do.

Pulling the jack out of the IPod, she placed Beca's headphones on the table by the side of her bed. Chloe knew the exact song she wanted, and started scrolling through the brunette's extensive collection until she found it. She turned the volume up and played it out loud.

The guitar intro sounded softly, and Chloe knew that if Beca was somehow listening, it would convey what the redhead was feeling.

 _When I see your smile  
Tears run down my face  
I can't replace  
Now that I'm strong I have figured out  
How this world turns cold  
And it breaks through my soul and I know  
I'll find deep inside me  
I can be the one_

Chloe harmonised perfectly with Ronnie Winter's. The emotions were raw and blurry.

 _I will never let you fall  
I'll stand up with you forever  
I'll be there for you through it all  
Even if saving you sends me to heaven_

 _Its ok  
its ok  
It's okayayay_

 _Seasons are changing and waves are crashing and  
Stars are falling all for us  
Days grow longer and nights grow shorter  
I can show you I'll be the one_

 _I will never let you fall  
I'll stand up with you forever  
I'll be there for you through it all  
Even if saving you sends me to heaven  
'Cause you're my  
You're mine  
My true love  
My whole heart  
Please don't throw that away  
'Cause I'm here for you  
Please don't walk away and  
Please tell me you'll stay  
Yeah  
Waohohaoh  
Stay  
Woaohoh  
Waohohoh_

Chloe could feel her eyes welling up. She meant every word that she was singing. It was equally soft and powerful and entrancing, all mashed together.

 _Use me as you will  
Pull my strings just for a thrill  
And I know I'll be ok  
Though my skies are turning grey (grey)_

 _I will never let you fall  
I'll stand up with you forever  
I'll be there for you through it all  
Even if saving you sends me to heaven_

 _I will never let you fall  
I'll stand up with you forever  
I'll be there for you through it all  
Even if saving you send me to heaven_

 _I will never let you fall  
I'll stand up with you forever  
I'll be there for you through it all  
Even if saving you sends me to heaven_

The song came to an end, the silence now surrounding the two women once more. Chloe looked back towards the door, wondering if anyone had heard her impromptu performance. She was just contemplating putting on another song when she felt the hand gripping hers twitch slightly. Chloe's eyes shot up, looking for traces of consciousness on the brunettes face. There was nothing at first, and Chloe's heart sank once again.

"You know, it's rude to stare Beale." Chloe couldn't be sure it was Beca who spoke. Her lips barely moved, her voice only reaching a mumble. It wasn't until bloodshot eyes opened and locked with Chloe's that she could believe what was happening.

"Beca."

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 _ **A/N – sorry for the long update time. It was my birthday the other week. It's been a little bit hectic! Let me know what you think!**_


	19. Chapter 19

" _ **The world gives you so much pain, and here you are making gold out of it. There is nothing purer than that." – Rupi Kaur**_

Beca's eyes were glazed over. The faraway look that had dominated her features knitting her eyebrows together in thought. But despite everything, Chloe still thought she looked beautiful.

The brunette pulled her gaze from Chloe's to glance around the room. Her eyes roamed all of her surrounding before settling on their joined hands.

"What happened?" Beca asked, her features betraying the unease her face was so desperately trying to control. Chloe cleared her throat before answering.

"Umm… well after semi-finals and the whole blow-up with Aubrey, you stormed out. Nobody knew where you went. Benji tried to follow you but you were long gone." The redhead shifted uncomfortably before continuing. "Apparently you were walking down the street and just started throwing up. There was blood in the vomit, and after you just passed out."

Beca took her time processing this. The details were blurry, but she was sure there was someone else there with her. She still couldn't meet the redhead's eyes as she asked the question.

"There was someone else?" Chloe nodded.

"Yeah, his name is Arthur. He's waiting right outside. He called Luke to get him to come to you, before calling the ambulance. In the end Luke ended up meeting you both here. He rode in with you." Beca was shocked. A complete stranger had gone out of his way to ensure that the brunette was looked after. Warmth spread in Beca's heart.

"I've gotta go and say thanks." She started to pull herself up, the IV's in her hands pulling against the sudden motion.

"Whoa, you're not going anywhere missy." Chloe gently pushed the girl back down in the bed, straightening up the covers. Beca stared intently into the redhead's eyes, looking for any sign of the girl by the lake, the girl that had screamed that she didn't want a part of this.

"Chloe." The redhead's actions stilled, but she still couldn't look Beca in the eye. Afraid the truth would be written there, as clear as day.

"Chloe please look at me." As soon as she looked up, she locked eyes with Beca. Her dark blue eyes were swimming with emotions Chloe had never seen grace the brunettes face before. There was uncertainty floating on the surface, but also a deeper, almost hidden pain that Chloe had looked at but never truly _seen._

"Beca… I-"

"No please. Let me speak." Beca looked at Chloe pleadingly, and Chloe knew to shut up, knowing that this is what she had been asking for since the day Beca's doctor's appointment. She nodded. Beca took a deep breath, steadying her nerves before talking.

"I… I just wanted to say I'm sorry. For being closed-off or whatever… it was a real dick move and you didn't deserve the way I acted." The brunette started picking at a loose thread on the hospital blanket, willing her mouth to get the words out. "I didn't want you to worry. I didn't want to put you through what I was going through. The only reason Luke knew was because I couldn't handle it at first." Her voice cracked at the end, and she struggled to choke back to emotions that were brewing in her throat. Beca closed her eyes, willing herself to continue when she felt warm skin on her hands. She opened her eyes to see Chloe squeezing her hands, silently telling her it was okay to continue.

"My Doctor told me that there is a high chance the chemo won't work… that _alternative_ options may have to be explored. And even then it might not work. Chloe you have to understand that my pushing you away was me trying to make it easier for you in the long run. But I realise now that I need you and I… I can't do this without you Chloe." That was the tipping point for Beca.

Sobs racked her body as Chloe pulled her into her chest. The redhead had never seen Beca looking so vulnerable, the smaller girl's hands grasping the back of Chloe's shirt for dear life, and she swore to herself that she would protect her, to be the person she so desperately needed. She pulled Beca away from her, cupping her cheeks. With the pad of her thumb, Chloe wiped away the tears that continued to stream down her face.

"I forgive you. And I'm here now. I'm so, so sorry. I shouldn't have ran when you told me. But I'm not going to leave you Beca." They stared into each other's eyes for a long time, only being broken up by the occasional glance of the lips from both girls. It was all becoming too much for Chloe. She leaned back.

"I'm gonna go tell the others that you're awake. I'm sure they're dying to talk to you." Chloe plastered a smile on her face, to which Beca responded with an equally strained smile.

"Sure… sure okay."

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Beca had been able to get discharged on the basis that she took nausea suppressing tablets, which would ultimately settle the lining of her stomach. The only problem was that it would make her extremely drowsy. She'd taken her first dose, and it was alright showing.

"But I want to walk! I've been stuck in bed all day." Beca practically whined as Chloe wheeled in a wheelchair.

"Beca, you heard what the doctor said. You have to keep weight off your leg and relax." Chloe tried to put on her best "mom" voice, but she knew it was futile.

"Okay I won't walk. I'll hop. Dr. Carson gave me crutches for a reason." Beca huffed before pushing herself up. Luke had ran back to Beca's dorm to pick up some clothes, knowing the broody brunette would never be persuaded to wear her Bella's uniform home. She was wearing lose grey sweatpants with one of Luke's old hoodies. Chloe couldn't help the pang of jealousy that shot through her heart, knowing Luke was there for Beca since the start. She pushed the feelings down as she watched the girl thread her arms through the crutch holes and start to hope out of the room, Luke and Chloe in tow.

"Arthur had to go home, but he left his number if you want to ring him." Luke left no room to argue, knowing Beca would probably decline.

"Yeah I'll do that when I'm home. Thanks Luke." The sincerity of her voice caught them both off guard.

"Are you not coming back to the radio station?" Luke didn't want to pry, but that was where she would normal reside after a hospital visit.

Beca glanced back, already feeling the fatigue in her body.

"No, I think I'm going to sleep in an actual bed tonight. Thank you though." Beca proceeded down the corridor, trying to act as if her body felt like a pile of lead. Chloe had brought the wheelchair with them, just in case.

They progressed slowly down the hall, Beca's laboured breathing being the only noise to break up the silence. They had to stop every now and then so Beca could catch her breath, and the breaks got gradually longer.

She was leaning up against the wall, eyes closed and a light sheen of sweat on her forehead when Chloe spoke up.

"Beca," she rested her hand between the brunette's shoulder blades. "I think we should maybe take it from here." Luke gasped slightly behind them, remembering how this had gone down. Both seniors waiting in anticipation as Beca turned to them and gave a wry smile.

"I think you're right." The seniors blinked for a second, surprised that Beca had so willingly gave up her independence. They were brought out of their thoughts when Beca started to slip her hands out of the holes and offering them to Luke. He took them while Chloe gently lowered Beca into the wheelchair, placing the footrests once she was settled.

The ride to the car was quicker, and in no time they were all stood outside the two cars of Chloe and Luke. The blonde was about to load the crutches into his car when Beca stopped him.

"Hey Luke? Would you mind if I ride with Chloe? I umm…" Beca locked eyes with the redhead, an unfamiliar light shining in them. "That's if it's okay with you both." Chloe and Luke glanced at each other, before they both smiled and nodded.

"I'll help you." Chloe put the brakes on the wheelchair, before snaking her arm under Beca's arms. The brunette gratefully complied, leaning heavily on Chloe. The redhead's heart lurched when she realised just how fragile Beca had become. Her best friend was literally crumbling in her arms, and she was too selfish to realise.

They shuffled to the passenger side, with Beca using the hand not holding Chloe's shoulder to brace herself against the car. Chloe lowered her down until she was sitting comfortably, and then swung her legs in. Beca smiled gratefully as she buckled herself in. she said a quick goodbye to Luke before they pulled out of the parking lot.

"So I'm taking you to your dorm?" Chloe glanced to her right, seeing that Beca was already staring at her.

"Yes please."

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"Do you think you could stay for a little bit?" Chloe looked up in surprise from where she was taking Beca's shoes off. They had made it to her dorm, despite the walk being agonisingly slow.

"If that's what you want. I wouldn't want to impose." Chloe cringed inwardly as she lined the shoes up with the others in the corner. _This is my best friend, it shouldn't even be a question!_ She internally screamed.

"Shut it Beale. You've never been one to turn down a cuddle." Beca patted the space beside her on the bed. It was made neatly, mirroring the rest of Beca's side of the room. Luke's doing, no doubt. There was no way Beca was that tidy.

"Okay." Chloe moved to the space next to Beca, and their "signature cuddle position" started to take place. Beca turned on her music through her phone, soft music creating a sombre mood.

 _I'm here again  
A thousand miles away from you  
A broken mess, just scattered pieces of who I am  
I tried so hard  
Thought I could do this on my own  
I've lost so much along the way_

Beca looked up at Chloe, the same light in her eyes as the redhead had seen earlier that day. They gazed into each other's eyes before Beca's eyes flicked to Chloe's lips. Her heart sped up as Beca started to lean in. all Chloe could do was close her eyes as their lips met, butterflies erupting in both girls' stomachs.

 _Then I'll see your face  
I know I'm finally yours  
I find everything I thought I lost before  
You call my name  
I come to you in pieces  
So you can make me whole_

Beca brought her hand up to Chloe's face, pulling her down. Chloe obliged eagerly, their lips moving together in perfect sync. The redhead felt a tongue swipe against her lips, so she granted access, a deep moan radiating from the brunette. It sent shivers down Chloe's spine as their tongues danced.

 _I've come undone  
but you make sense of who I am  
like puzzle pieces in your eye_

Their movements were becoming more heated, Beca gripping Chloe's waist, urging her up. Chloe moved gently but swiftly, placing a knee on either side of Beca's body. Beca's hands had a gentle but firm hold on Chloe's waist as the redhead brought her hands up to cup Beca's face.

 _Then I'll see your face  
I know I'm finally yours  
I find everything I thought I lost before  
You call my name  
I come to you in pieces  
So you can make me whole!_

Chloe moaned softly as Beca's fingers found their way under her shirt. Chloe detached their lips before reattaching them to the younger girls' neck, nipping and sucking. Beca whimpered under her, pulling Chloe impossibly closer. The feel of the redhead's hips grinding into Beca's sent waves of heat flowing through both girls, desire pulsing in every bone of their bodies.

 _Tried so hard! So hard!  
I tried so hard!_

 _Then I'll see your face  
I know I'm finally yours  
I find everything I thought I lost before  
You call my name  
I come to you in pieces  
So you can make me whole  
So you can make me whole_

"Wait." Beca's voice was breathless, but she needed to be heard. "Chloe wait…"

Chloe glanced up, heart plummeting when she saw the look on the brunettes face.

"Oh Beca I'm so sorry… I didn't know what I was thinking." Chloe started moving to get up, when Beca grabbed her hand. Chloe met her eyes, a new look of desire and adoration floating beneath hooded lids.

"As much as I loved this… whatever this is," Beca kissed Chloe's palm, making Chloe's heart sore once again. "I don't think we should rush into anything.

All Chloe could do was nod. She settled against Beca's side. The younger girls' heartbeat was pounding against her cheek, but Chloe didn't mind. As long as that heart was beating, she was content to take it as slow as Beca needed. For now, they had all the time in the world.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

 _ **A/N – explanations a plenty in the next chapter.**_


End file.
